And now an important message from Jester’s evil twin, Garth.  The opinions of Garth are not the opinions of Jester (unless they are).

Time to make some fuck-wits cry.

CCP Falcon is upset because EVE players are EVE players:

Customer Support has been made aware of the use of a specific defect as a tactic in combat. The defect has to do with assigning drones to another pilot and then moving into the safety of a forcefield without having the drones deactivate or return to your dronebay.

Tell you what.  How about we fix this exploit by just removing drone assist from the game?  How would that be?

Drone assist is only used for three damned things worth talking about anyway:

  1. Making it stupid-easy to multibox PvE.
  2. Making it stupid-easy to kill-mail whore because your lock time is slow.
  3. Making it stupid-easy to alpha shit right out of space because you can’t be arsed to press F1 yourself, you lazy fuck.

Each of those tactics has one thing in common: they’re stupid.  You know that it’s stupid even as you’re doing it.  And those of you using #3 certainly know that it’s stupid, even as you cackle insanely as your Slocats make things disappear while you pig out on Cheetohs instead of touching your keyboard while you “play” EVE Online.  There’s probably more than one “and when I got back from making my sandwich, the enemy fleet was dead and I had 50 kill-mails” story that should have made it to the list of the True Stories of EVE.

Torfi, we’ll need an artist to paint a neck-beard spaceship nerd with an orange-stained Minmatar Hurricane t-shirt and orange-stained fingers leaning back in his chair made from crushed Pepsi Max cans to be hung in the Museum of Modern Art, please.

So let’s just fucking get rid of it.  Those of you that like to harvest tears should be entirely with me on this one, right?  More tears will result from this change than from removing ice belts.  We haven’t had a really good unbelievable nerf to this game for a while, so I say we’re due.  Drone assist needs to die die die.

That is all.

The preceding has been an important message from Jester’s evil twin, Garth.  The management apologizes to any and all whom Garth may have offended.  Garth had a good idea once, but he couldn’t find a toaster, so he took his bath without it.


If you would like to read more we invite you to visit his blog here.


  1. Atogrim

    +1 from me dear sir. Nailed it.

    September 20, 2013 at 5:01 pm Reply
  2. Miccheck

    Eve 24 attracts so many whiners…can we get some alliance related news? What is happening to 401k? What does PL think of their failed attempt to crush Solar? Is the cfc faced with a immenant threat with a brooding N3? Are PL corps taking a exodus to Nc Dot?

    September 20, 2013 at 5:11 pm Reply
    1. Gort

      I agree with Garth and I think it is important that the mechanics of the game when they are fecked should be open to discussion and there are plenty of broken mechanics in this game.

      I would also like to see a daily events section – who took sov from who – major offensive starts etc – a lot of it can be gleaned from Dotlan such as FA losing 41 systems in the last 2 days. Perhaps with some journalism we could get some points of views from the protagonists and insights that the casual reader doesn’t have the time to seek out.

      September 20, 2013 at 5:40 pm Reply
      1. Random CFC Grunt

        Congratulations you super-sleuth – you have noticed a sov-transfer from FA to GSF. Not the most exciting of events. Besides, you’re demanding that Riverini actually posts relevant stuff here and that’s like asking AAA not to be shit. It just won’t happen…

        September 21, 2013 at 11:40 am Reply
    2. PLgrunt

      just ask you you will get an answer

      Who is 401k?

      Are we attacking solar?? .. who ain’t we attacking?… I thought it was Razor and brick squad we following about whoring on atm. There isn’t any ‘kill solar active campaign’ just a ‘Solar are attacking people lets go kill their stuff if there is nothing else going on..’

      Solar wants to get N3 good fights, CFC just wants to install renters in the space they took..

      PL pilots are bored and looking for a fight.. NC. .. no idea what they are doing..

      September 20, 2013 at 7:13 pm Reply
  3. Musashibou Benkei

    couldn’t agree more. even fighters have a better assisting mechanic in place where the person having drones assigned has to manually control the drones and only up to 5.

    September 20, 2013 at 5:23 pm Reply
    1. Simon pieman

      It should be deleted altogether i think, its massively OP and after being in nulli for a short stay its boring as hell, the worse pvp i have ever experienced

      September 20, 2013 at 5:40 pm Reply
      1. tell me how...

        OP? lol youre an idiot. a good bomb run or smartbomb group can clear sentries off the field, shutting down a drone fleet till more drones can be put out.

        if you just delete it, tell me, how will you counter damp blobs?

        September 20, 2013 at 10:34 pm Reply
        1. Random CFC Grunt

          You are aware that drones can be pulled back into the drone bay, right? Takes – like, 2 seconds? Bomb run takes 10? Deploying drones again takes 3-4 seconds because you need to assist them, 2 more clicks. As for the other example, hve you ever thought about bomb runs? I mean these are t1 cruisers after all…

          September 21, 2013 at 11:31 am Reply
          1. Derp

            You are aware that when you deploy sentries they don’t move right? Who would be stupid enough to sit still or slowly orbit their sentries and get blaped by pretty much anything the hostile fleet has? No sir, those sentries are gone when a bombing run happens.

            September 21, 2013 at 3:45 pm
          2. Random CFC Grunt

            Well if you do that, no wonder you lose your drones, DERP!

            September 22, 2013 at 12:58 pm
  4. hun dude

    There are disadvantages and not just advantages for using sentry drone based doctrines. People tend to forget this disadvantages, like:
    – sentry drone doctrines are extremely vulnerable against bombers
    – sentry drone fleets are more stationary because if you move you leave your weapons behind
    – even if you orbit one of your drones at 500 you can go out of the range of 1-2 drones so it takes time to grap those if you want to gtfo

    Of course slowcat fleets are op because they aren’t vulnerable against bombers and have no problem being stationary and replacing lost drones but slowcats’ overpowerness isn’t coming from the drone assist so it wouldn’t solve that problem. On the other hand it would remove subcap drone fleets advantages and leave them with only disadvantages.

    People who lobbying for the removal of drone assist isn’t doing from balancing POV but from metagaming deliberation. And I say this as someone who personally don’t enjoy sentry drone fleets.

    September 20, 2013 at 5:26 pm Reply
  5. I just do not know

    Two things, I think a limit should be placed on the number of drones that could assist, the second thing is more of a paper rock scissor thing, what exactly can be done to counter the Sensor Disruptor fleets, because that was one of the reason for doing this in fleets.
    I know some of you will come back with Blackbird, but ECM is broken Ewar, perhaps all these other Ewar technologies should have a random affect applied to them like ECM. I guess it then will be like supers, the only counter to sensor disrupting will be to field more then the enemy…, or perhaps having the setup to bomb them at the start of the battle!

    September 20, 2013 at 5:33 pm Reply
  6. Simon pieman

    I love it +1

    September 20, 2013 at 5:37 pm Reply
  7. Duh

    Would it be accurate to say that drone-assist doctrines are a crutch for bad players/FC’s/alliances?

    September 20, 2013 at 5:58 pm Reply
    1. youre an idiot


      September 20, 2013 at 10:31 pm Reply
      1. Random CFC Grunt

        No – you are, Yes they are.

        September 21, 2013 at 11:26 am Reply
  8. wtf

    My only concern is that use it for de-cloaking claoky faggots on gates , other wise I don’t give a shit …

    September 20, 2013 at 5:58 pm Reply
    1. Devore

      Are you not able to use your own drones to decloak someone? To use drones to decloak someone, you need to lock them and tell drones to approach and attack, but if someone is locked, they already can’t cloak, so redundant mechanic is redundant.

      September 21, 2013 at 12:50 am Reply
      1. decloaking is tuff

        Fuck tard its called the drones decloaking you idiot. Being within 2km of the target will decloak them if its a drone or a ship so SUPRISE people assist drones to fast gatecamp ships to help with decloaking. Get a fucking clue.

        September 21, 2013 at 10:48 am Reply
      2. Banden

        You have never been hunting cloakyfags have you? Gtfo.

        September 21, 2013 at 3:20 pm Reply
  9. Billbo

    Holy fuck this makes Goblin look like an MIT professor

    September 20, 2013 at 5:59 pm Reply
  10. Sold

    Christ, I called this shit months ago when Odyssey BS balance pass was announced. Mechanic was already in place. Now that people are using it, everyone cries “OP!” Gas thread, ban OP. Ban afk cloaking while you’re at it.

    September 20, 2013 at 6:09 pm Reply
  11. Burseg Sardaukar

    Sure, I can get behind this if ECM is removed first.

    September 20, 2013 at 6:28 pm Reply
    1. Quawr

      If you get rid of ECM the. Get rid of tracking disrupters, remote sensor dampeners and energy neutralizers. Otherwise stop whining!!

      September 20, 2013 at 6:40 pm Reply
      1. Random CFC Grunt

        Or else what? You’re going to bitch about random number generator being equal to an actually balanced mechanic?

        September 21, 2013 at 11:47 am Reply
  12. Squinty McBlindy

    Absolutely bang-on the cash. +1

    September 20, 2013 at 6:32 pm Reply
  13. Wisdom

    I could understand if all you wanted to do was limit drone assisting, but to completely remove it is beyond stupid. For those PvEing it will cut their profits in half, and doing anoms is shit as it is. The players using ISOboxer doesn’t assist drones so it would not affect them in the least. The only people who you hurt are those who do not cheat and do not have a second monitor, which is a good portion of EVE players. Secondly, assisting drones has its benefits in small gang PvP, such as for decloaking and alphaing players trying to burn back to a gate. Your third point I agree with though, it makes large scale PvP way too easy and requires no skill whatsoever. Though I think most people will become bored with it because of its no skill requirement with regards to large scale PvP. Besides, there are ways of countering it as it is, even if they are somewhat difficult to implement in some instances.

    September 20, 2013 at 6:38 pm Reply
  14. JG

    Retard post.

    September 20, 2013 at 6:39 pm Reply
    1. Random CFC Grunt

      Why? Can’t you be bothered to actually play the fucking game while you’re playing? Or were you butthurt after someone told you that you’re a no-skill idiot, only pressing F1 and decided to give it up? Grath has many stupid ideas but this one is actually one of his best.

      September 21, 2013 at 11:07 am Reply
  15. bwhahah

    funny is pl started the craze with slowcats now they bitch man funny stuff

    September 20, 2013 at 6:40 pm Reply
  16. PLgrunt

    Play eve in an exploitative way that makes it shit. Spend all day bitching about how shit EVE is and how terrible the people are who play it. Don’t appreciate playing shit meta we created … is Bitter PL Pilot.

    September 20, 2013 at 7:01 pm Reply
  17. Darth Nefarius

    So is Garth here claiming to be Jester’s ALT??? Quick someone petition a TOS violation! 😉

    September 20, 2013 at 7:16 pm Reply
    1. Dirk MacGirk

      He is in fact claiming that. Now if you feel you have been scammed out of your time by having read this article, you should petition it to GM Impersonator

      September 20, 2013 at 9:46 pm Reply
  18. Daisai

    Aren’t these “articles” that are being posted without someone with a braincell to check them just the best?
    A great article that really shows great knowledge of the game and showing a good example on what fixes this and why it should be removed.

    Before anyone doesnt realise this, the above was sarcasm.

    September 20, 2013 at 7:18 pm Reply
  19. content joe

    You know they need content, even if there is no content,,,,

    September 20, 2013 at 8:10 pm Reply
  20. anon

    You forgot the use of assigning drones to assist an ally when you have been jammed.

    September 20, 2013 at 8:16 pm Reply
  21. Soulxlight

    Pay to play a game where only the FC of the fleet gets to actually kill stuff. Boring.

    September 20, 2013 at 8:23 pm Reply
  22. Soulxlight

    Alliances that use this will be all for it until an entity like the CFC gets a valid doctrine using this. When 5 fleets of Ishtars and a fleet of slowcats are on the field with 8750 sentries instapopping 6 targets at once they’ll suddenly be leading the charge on the forums while filling buckets of tears about how OP it is. It’s nice to use the FotM when you have 80 ishtars and are winning . . . but you have to remember that if you support it for yourself . . . there are entities out there who can use it against you . . . and at least 1 entity can field 1000+.

    September 20, 2013 at 8:35 pm Reply
    1. droll

      nah, we would insta pop capitals.

      September 21, 2013 at 1:02 am Reply
  23. Kama Kairade

    Forgive me. The issue was not with drone-assist. The issue was “Drone-assist, then enter the POS shields where you are invulnerable”. If it were not for the ‘invulnerable’ part, this wouldn’t be an issue. TBT, BL would have crushed the NS Ishtar fleet (the incident which caused CCPs intervention) if not for the invulnerability exploit.

    CCP needs to fix this. Everyone else can STFU and stop trying to use this as a launchpad for your own personal anti-drone/ecm/pos/sov agenda.

    September 20, 2013 at 8:55 pm Reply
    1. Dirk MacGirk

      This is another reason to nerf sov, supercapitals, force projection and blue lists. Must also tie it into impersonation. Assisted drones are in fact impersonating the character they are assigned to. There, another TOS violation.

      September 20, 2013 at 9:43 pm Reply
    2. M1k3y_Koontz

      So you’re trying to tell me you have FUN assigning your drones to the FC and watching 2,000 blue and red squares sit on the screen in front of your face?

      September 20, 2013 at 9:48 pm Reply
      1. exploit should go, not drones

        Do you think its fun when the other fleet brings 25 celestes and can damp out a 100 man fleet so you can shoot fuck all if its not close enough to bump it?

        Drone-assist is currently the only effective counter to this, nerf drone assist and thats all you see in null.

        September 20, 2013 at 10:29 pm Reply
        1. Devore

          Yawn. Bring your own 25 celestis.

          September 20, 2013 at 11:28 pm Reply
          1. Snargle

            Or your own drone fleet.

            September 21, 2013 at 2:01 am
        2. pop

          It’s more like 150 celestias.

          September 21, 2013 at 2:20 am Reply
        3. dreamer.

          All Ewar is hell if they use amass of it. all Ewar got a counter.
          only ewar that is subpar then the rest is Targetpainting in my opinion.

          Im a firm beliver that eve is in near perfect inbalance so that once a specific fleet get the upper hand a new fleet have its counter

          Drone assist on the other hand is lame idea. and realy only promotes AFK:ing. and we do not want to have AFK ing

          September 21, 2013 at 10:41 am Reply
      2. Since '03

        Stop being a poor faggot and bring a firewall to your fleets. So many whinny little cunts playing this game these dayz

        September 20, 2013 at 10:46 pm Reply
        1. M1k3y_Koontz

          Well, since I don’t partake in the clusterfuck that is sov warfare because IT SUCKS, your assumption that this effects me at all is wrong.

          More importantly, nowhere was I complaining about drone assists, I’m saying that its hardly PVP, its more like watching a movie.

          September 20, 2013 at 11:28 pm Reply
          1. schmideo

            quote: “its more like watching a movie”
            Or a video game!

            You are kind of an idiot aren’t you.

            September 20, 2013 at 11:42 pm
          2. M1k3y_Koontz

            It is a video game. It should be played like a video game. It shouldn’t be played
            1) Assign drones to FC
            2) Watch stuff explode

            Sounds an awful lot like watching movie…
            1) Play movie
            2) Watch explosions

            September 21, 2013 at 12:15 am
          3. 123

            F1 monkey farming is better tbh?

            September 21, 2013 at 4:19 pm
          4. M1k3y_Koontz

            It’s not great but at least the players have to be active…

            September 21, 2013 at 11:36 pm
          5. mrcrazy_monkey

            Not in 10% tidi. You can make a sandwich between pressing F1 in that shit. Drone assist just means you can go to work and return with a few kills to show for your lossmail tbh.

            September 22, 2013 at 3:10 pm
          6. M1k3y_Koontz

            Yea tidi… worst good idea ever.

            September 23, 2013 at 2:57 am
          7. PL vet

            Dunno but how I play a video game is up to me? Right trying to force shit onto people does what exactly? Nothing other then lower subscription numbers.

            Lets be honest here for a second EVE SHIT the only times I still login is when its a sc-legion ping and we can drop our supers onto some poor nigger. You really think people enjoy F1 pushing? M8… CCP decided to shit towards huge blobs because that shit hits the news and all that, yet the game can not support that sort of game play let alone that its freaking boring when numbers decided everything. Anyone tell me 10% tidi F1 pushing is fun.. I rather drop my drones and go eat launch then wast 10 hours of my precious time for a battle that lasts 1hour because CCP can’t afford decent servers.

            September 21, 2013 at 4:27 pm
        2. no

          a firewall gonna help against assisted sentry drones. yes. coincidentally, i have this wonderful bridge in Brooklyn id like to sell… you seem like a bright fella…

          September 21, 2013 at 10:01 am Reply
          1. nigger jim

            it would if you bring a smartbomb fit typhoon and warp it in at 0 to the drones, activate MJD and smartbomb them all to shit and then warp out. repeat as necessary

            September 21, 2013 at 1:39 pm

      In all honesty, isn’t drone assist only a step down from F1 mashers? The only interaction that is less is the Ctrl+click fleet window, F1. That’s not exactly l337 PvP either, and is still a very limited faucet of the game, and yet what most people will do for the majority of their EvE career. So your argument is they have less interaction than you? Great! Now WHs and lowsec gangs can argue against allowing fleet broadcast, since it lessens the overall interaction of a pilot in a fleet, the same concept of drone assist. “But that’s just a way of fleet management and efficiency!” Well then, what would you call drone assist? I’d call it the same thing, especially since some fleets employ weapons AND drones.
      The argument that drone assist is broken sounds like a bunch of people who’s current doctrine doesn’t allow for it, therefor no one should have it. Drone based fleets are by no means OP or at the pinnacle of fleet doctrines without challengers. Suffice to say, watching a perfectly healthy fleet of domis be forced to warp off field because they ran out of sentries is, in fact, hilarious. Ya’ll should go whine about how you can’t safely AFK farm in a Nyx or something. That’d make more sense.

      September 21, 2013 at 11:42 am Reply
  24. BL grunt

    Hey faglords and spergelords the only ones that should be slitting their wrist over this is nulli secunda. All other elements from the peanut brigade of “whinesec “feel free to send your comments to your local CSM representaive for feedback!

    September 20, 2013 at 10:57 pm Reply
    1. white knights of N3

      Im surprised you post so well with Mitten’s cock in your mouth. :)

      September 21, 2013 at 3:13 pm Reply
  25. Slo

    If anything that needs to be needed is those damned celestias, that can down from 100km away

    September 20, 2013 at 11:07 pm Reply
  26. of th learn

    I have to say: “Garth your right.”

    September 21, 2013 at 6:39 am Reply
    1. Hehe

      What’s on his right?

      September 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm Reply
  27. Lazy F1 Pusher

    Garth, this will kill PL, and his Pro Domi pilots…haudareia?

    September 21, 2013 at 9:40 am Reply
  28. QQ more garth

    Garth you have always been a emo raging faglord, please biomass in real life you pathetic waste of recources

    September 21, 2013 at 2:18 pm Reply
  29. imsosly

    Agreed. This is just another form of carebearing disguised as pvp. DOOMSDAY WEAPON UNITE!… on the toon that is 2 days old… that can only really…. use 2 drones atm….. but give him the swarm.

    September 21, 2013 at 4:41 pm Reply
  30. abc123

    All you whining babies. Someone takes the time to use teamwork, tactics, and beats your daycare forums whore’s and then you scream to CCP that they need to nerf this or delete that. The blob is the blob. Thirty to Forty Thousand people are on EVE all different times of the day. It going to happen. Get over it. Learn to counter it or just do what most of you crying babies do. Blue Ball what you can not beat. Everyone can not win all time. Someone has to lose. It what you do after you lose is what make you a better player. But in most cases most of you bitchass losers just come to the forums and cry for Nerfs or blame the other side for blobbling. You win some – You lose some. Deal with it.

    September 21, 2013 at 4:54 pm Reply
  31. muh

    They should put drones on killmails. 1 bomb and hey you just got 1.000 killmails. Rly did non of you had the urge to just bomb the sentry drones? Why nerf when a few well aimed bombs would do the trick

    September 22, 2013 at 11:13 am Reply
  32. since '03

    Because of Falcon………..

    September 24, 2013 at 1:02 am Reply

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