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test_laz

I won’t be posting the SOTA since it’s Monday and if you are to spend the best part the Monday morning listening to internet spaceships C-SPAN, then you got a serious problem and should rethink your life. Instead here is the TEST Alliance CEO Update.


Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight workings
Of your alliance dear.

I’m no Silverstein, but a good poetic turn every now and again is always nice. Gets the blood flowing, etc. Also I had to sit through the original of that poem 18 times today.

The last two weeks of The War have been the most eventful in recent recollection. Massive welps, glorious saves, sov being lost and reclaimed, massive sov drops, spy-manipulation, and a dropped station egg, if you can imagine it, it’s probably happened.

We, with our allies, have retaken the station systems dropped by Sort Dragon, the Dildo Muncher when he pulled shenanigans on o7m8s holdings. The only system yet to be reclaimed from his drop is 4-EP. Steady gains have been made in recovering both systems and moons from the Clusterfuck Coalition, with some systems being perpetual battlegrounds. Z9PP and EI- are hotly contested daily, and Z9PP now holds the distinction of Asakai 2.0.

Over the last few weeks, ground has been retaken despite the CFC’s “salt the land with SBUs” strategy, and they’ve shifted said strategies slightly to make use of both spies and burnouts, most notably against N3- dropping some 200 systems worth of sov, 40+ of those being station systems due to mistakes being made with roles within the holding corps of Nulli Tertius and S2N Citizens. Cyno chains were put into place, TCUs located and sent east, and amazing things happened. Stations were flipped in 8 minutes, a feat that boggles the mind. SOLAR, who had been pushing Nulli hard on their borders, walked away with literally nothing.

If you recall, but a few weeks ago CFC was laughing at us on Kugu and elsewhere for using bombers to grind structures, and to great effect. How does it feel to be on the cutting edge? With their “siegefleet” being pinged for every few hours, it seems as if they’re trying to wash away the memory of their techfleet and the hundreds of dead TFIs in their wake. The TFI market still has yet to recover from the decimation and instead Caracals, Siegefleet, and Megathrons have been most frequently seen.

If you also recall, our financial solvency has been questioned publicly. This is somewhat amusing since various CFC entities have taken substantial loans from Goonswarm, and there’s been not-so-quiet rumors that some of their coalition membership have been struggling to pay their sov bills. Pot, meet kettle.

So what have we been doing? As mentioned earlier, we’ve been making the CFC bleed for every system, every tower they try to take. Kurator, Baki, Disto, Sklullus and the rest have been wrangling nerds and brawling 23/7 for the last two weeks, fighting like the Rohirrim of Tolkien lore. Countless nerds have selflessly given up their time to join them, filling fleets, lighting cynos, scouting systems.

This is where I segue into the military side of this update a wee. We’ve been doing very well, but there’s always room for us to improve. We can’t be satisfied or sit on our laurels until VFK itself lies under siege.

There’s been some misconceptions about our skill checking tool, again. It’s a tool, a device utilized to put you on the right path, to make your training decisions easier. It is not gospel. Reimbursement drones do not check your skills. Simply put: if you can fit it properly, you will be reimbursed for it.

Doctrines



Yes, we have those. There has been much discussion regarding the potential addition of a Gallente Battleship doctrine. This will not be happening in the immediate future. Our three battleship doctrines will remain Faux/Foxcats, Rokhtrine, and Welpests. I apologize for the disappointment this causes some of you, but we have doctrines that are being underutilized. Once everything is squared away and we have solved our issues, this decision might be re-examined. We will also not be adding Cruise- or Torp-Phoons in the near future.

Faux/Foxcat fits have been moderately adjusted, the wiki will be shortly updated-
https://forum.please…and-conformity/

Since this is an update, I do have a major doctrine shift for you, as well as a bonus surprise. Our generic Oracle fit is now a shield fit, RIP your rigs. The surprise? Thank ProGodLegend (and Canaris) for Gokufleet. For the unenlightened, enjoy your sig-tanking, cloakless bombers. Cowards need not apply.

A final doctrine switch applies to our capital pilots. Chimeras will no longer be reimbursed for slowcat fleets. It was made readily apparent the other day as they were being volleyed off field in 10% TiDi that it is just not justifiable to have them and it just doesn’t work anymore as you’ll be nuked off the field first. That by no means implies that you shouldn’t train into a chimera, if that is your fancy. There is still a high need for them for hot rep action and even fun combat-triage times with rohks. .Cap FCs will be more specific in their pings – pings for slowcats versus combat carriers will be differentiated
Reinforced Bulkheads has been playing with BC fits, and will continue to do so. The first product of this are Jaffinator’s Brawlycanes. Expect more in the future- we will be experimenting.

A moment of silence, if you would. We have officially laid The Draek to rest as a doctrine, please bow your head in a moment of silence for this tried and true workhorse. May you someday be un-nerfed by CCP, dear friend.

Reimbursements recently inducted a new batch of drones, please be patient with them as they figure out how you mangled your fits. As always, recon and logistics are recruiting, please see the career center subforum for the relevant posts.

I’m aware that there’s been disgruntlement in the quantity and quality of broadcasts lately. Amongst other things, yes, this will be worked on. There’s been a few suggestions in how to fix it, we’re just examining what will work best for us.

Yes, this is a substantial wall of words, and no, I will not offer a synopsis of it. I will however leave you with a short parting thought. You, yes you, Mr. Joe TESTie, are important. We want you in fleet. We want you active in recon, or logistics, or as an FC. You are the reason TEST is where we’re at today, and with you showing up to fleets daily, we will end up on VFK’s doorstep.

A conformity post will be done for this soonβ„’.

[Oracle, grape apes]
Damage Control II
Tracking Enhancer II
Tracking Enhancer II
Heat Sink II
Heat Sink II
Heat Sink II

Experimental 10MN Microwarpdrive I
Large F-S9 Regolith Shield Induction
Large F-S9 Regolith Shield Induction

Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L
Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L
Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L
Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L
Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L
Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L
Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L
Mega Pulse Laser II, Multifrequency L

Medium Anti-EM Screen Reinforcer I
Medium Core Defense Field Extender I
Medium Core Defense Field Extender I

[Oracle, Meta Grape]
Damage Control II
Tracking Enhancer II
Tracking Enhancer II
Heat Sink II
Heat Sink II
Heat Sink II

Experimental 10MN Microwarpdrive I
Large Shield Extender II
Large F-S9 Regolith Shield Induction

Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L
Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L
Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L
Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L
Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L
Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L
Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L
Tachyon Modulated Energy Beam I, Gamma L

Medium Anti-EM Screen Reinforcer I
Medium Core Defense Field Extender I
Medium Core Defense Field Extender I

[Original Announcement]

45 Comments

  1. LOL TEST

    LOL using the Revenant BL GrapeApe fit. No, PGL didnt invent it.

    July 8, 2013 at 6:47 pm Reply
    1. Jesus Christ

      he was talking about the goku fleet.

      July 8, 2013 at 6:57 pm Reply
    2. DERP

      Read it again retard, PGL/Canaris invented Goku fleet, which is a Stealth Bomber doctrine.

      July 8, 2013 at 6:59 pm Reply
  2. Jesus Christ

    was hopping for some exotic oracle fits….pretty standard.

    July 8, 2013 at 6:49 pm Reply
  3. Darth Kilth

    So for a month TEST has been claiming they got plenty of money and reimbursements are fine… And now they suddenly ask for donations because they really need money and start saying the never denied being low on money?
    Then they say that the CFC is also in financial trouble… with not evidence to support that claim, if they are trying to turn it into propaganda like the CFC did they must at least deliver a credible claim that the CFC is in similar trouble.

    I’ve not heard of Alliances in the CFC borrowing loads of money or being barely able to pay their sov bills at all, not here, not on reddit, not on TheMittani, not on EVE-O forums and not on any CFC forums…..
    So were is the is rumor coming from?

    July 8, 2013 at 7:02 pm Reply
    1. GoonsAreShit

      it’s not a rumor, is a fact!

      July 8, 2013 at 8:01 pm Reply
      1. CFC Pony

        And? Course we fucking loaned our allies some ISK, test/N3/PL are doing the same.

        July 9, 2013 at 12:21 am Reply
    2. 2.4

      Well, the CFC and mittens try to look out for spis and flush them out whenever possible. Also, finances in GSF are a highly kept secret. Wait until they ask for more money from their techmoon department. When they do that, you’ll know there’s an issue………oh wait, they already have! It was posed on EN24 a few weeks back.

      July 8, 2013 at 9:34 pm Reply
    3. Anonymous

      http://evenews24.com/2013/05/27/li3-alliance-to-embrace-an-income-membership-fee-system/

      “This is somewhat amusing since various CFC entities have taken substantial loans from Goonswarm, and there’s been not-so-quiet rumors that some of their coalition membership have been struggling to pay their sov bills.” is what it says. It doesn’t say they took loans out specifically to pay the sov bills. These people may not have even taken out loans.

      July 9, 2013 at 8:32 pm Reply
  4. Just a grunt

    F.U TEST .. i am tired of your numbers being shit. if it was up to me, N3 would pull out and leave you to die as you deserve. Either light a fire under your members asses and get your numbers up, or you can count on less and less NC. N3 even PL grunts as we will start finding excuses not to fleet up for you.

    July 8, 2013 at 7:57 pm Reply
    1. lol...

      Fake

      July 8, 2013 at 10:27 pm Reply
      1. lolski

        and a shitty fake at that πŸ˜€

        July 8, 2013 at 10:54 pm Reply
        1. Titus Veridius

          Like….an excuse not to shoot Goons. lol. Wat a fake.

          July 9, 2013 at 1:46 am Reply
      2. Just a grunt

        fake? lol bro. how was the Domi fleet turn out for the 7/9 0730 form up? I am in N3 and just speaking the truth. TEST is fucking lazy. If you were in N3 you would know what i am saying is true.

        July 9, 2013 at 4:47 pm Reply
    2. Dikreathz

      obviously stuck in jita trying to find fleets πŸ˜›

      July 9, 2013 at 7:31 am Reply
      1. Just a grunt

        as a matter of fact yes. i been missioning near Jita like a damn carebear instead of fleeting up. lol

        July 9, 2013 at 4:41 pm Reply
  5. FucK_TEST_PL

    Test/Pl soo dump.

    GSF back !!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mw8i2eFKzY8

    July 8, 2013 at 8:29 pm Reply
  6. FoocK CCP

    “We, with our allies, have retaken the station systems …”

    FIX: “Our allies, with us, have retaken the station systems …”

    July 8, 2013 at 9:33 pm Reply
    1. Cryalot?

      I will only say one thing to this.
      “You should choose your allies carefully next time. Its not our fault that we have better allies than you do”
      If it doesn’t remind you something then please check CFC posts about 1-2 years ago…

      July 9, 2013 at 11:48 am Reply
  7. Just a grunt

    I rather join goons. who do i contract my assets to and send a 500m deposit to ?

    July 8, 2013 at 9:39 pm Reply
    1. Dikreathz

      Yes cause you have to pay your master to carebeeare in null its how its done there πŸ˜€ … I ran into a Goonwaffe recruiter the otherday, really friendly, then I spoke only of death to goons bloodfields and songs of Goonageddon then closed chat πŸ˜€

      July 9, 2013 at 7:29 am Reply
  8. DrkyDrky

    It seems like that the only alliance that can save TEST is now BL…

    However, the development of bad blood between PL and BL in light of recent events works heavily in CFC favor. Even if BL were to suddenly switch sides, PL would most likely dunk BL’s capfleet deployed against CFC, given the opportunity; even if they’re on the same side. Simply because PL hates BL way more than they hate CFC.

    PL holds a big Vendetta against BL, so it’s doubtful that they can have a solid unified front against CFC. If Mittens can play his card right, he can keep both legions occuipied while he goes on a killing spree against N3/TEST.

    July 8, 2013 at 9:50 pm Reply
    1. burn

      In other words Mittens has to pay more and more money to keep BL attracted in the conflict and not going back to wreck havoc in Carebearwonderland

      July 8, 2013 at 10:01 pm Reply
    2. anonymous

      BL is too busy whoring themselves and forget that the only reason they were successful in q-cab (which is the event they claim forced Cfc to offer them a contract) was because n3/test were hellcamping Cfc into their staging system while they took the station

      July 8, 2013 at 10:13 pm Reply
      1. whatthefuq

        Oh fuck off lol.
        Which of these alliances isn’t a fucking whore anyway?
        Just check their histories. 90% of the corporations have been fighting everyone and their mother.

        Check the N3 with special focus on NC. – they got PL cock in one hand, grabbing TEST stuff in Delve, then “helping TEST” against CFC…welp a falcon and lose an ally like BL…and so on…

        When you grow past the fact that this is an amazing game sadly driven by egos of unaccomplished nerds, retards and armchair generals, you will simply pick your side and enjoy the time you got with this game, until you end up being called a whore by your once-upon-a-time ally.

        July 8, 2013 at 10:52 pm Reply
        1. anonymous

          Only thing taken in delve was one system when we were trying to provoke fights and I won’t even get in to the falcon incident. Muhadin was told several times whose alt it was but he shot anyway and even then failed to kill it. I don’t know any recent alliance that has changed sides midwar

          July 8, 2013 at 11:41 pm Reply
      2. IndependentMind

        LOL, blaming BL for being whores? They never said they are part of PL/N3/TEST coalition. They were npc null residents who take occassional contracts and kill whoever they want in the meantime. They sieged Q-CAB as a result of opportunity. PL/N3/TEST promised them nothing, they just counted with BL as a wild card that will distract CFC without offering BL anything. If you look at N3… S2N driven out of Delve by TEST calls them bros now, MV, BUSA driven out of -A- by PL are now in PL or NC… tell me something about THEIR honour.

        Actually, in EVE there are just a few alliances and groups that still have honour. I count BL among them, plus 401K and PIZZA, then -A-, DD and Stain guys, and SOLAR. That is all, everyone else sold out himself by joining ranks of their enemies.
        I am member of small group not related to any party involved in conflict so my attitude is not motivated by membership in one of them.

        July 9, 2013 at 1:29 pm Reply
        1. anonymous

          S2n wasnt driven out by test, they only lost when the cfc invaded. Busa and mv left a dead alliance and joined ones that could offer them pvp. Solar were rmting scum that deserved to lose their space (this was proven when their renters offered to pay us through paypal). As for BL we were the only reason they took that station yet many of their members compare it to BL holding a gun to Cfc’s head forcing Cfc to give them a contract. It was funny watching Elo begging vee in local on mad anis stream to allow him to have his victory in q-cab in the final hour before their tcus onlined

          July 9, 2013 at 4:18 pm Reply
        2. Johan du Preez

          Cant recall CVA selling out … prob the only alliance in eve that didnt ….

          July 10, 2013 at 11:13 am Reply
          1. nubcake

            Indeed provi block is trustworthy. Unfortunately they aren’t a real factor in eve

            July 10, 2013 at 12:17 pm
    3. cfc is fail

      just so you idiots understand.. pl were setup by VoC and BL. had pl had its full supers in fleet with an actual fc and not setup bl would have whelped lol they only raped pl because they thought they were doing a quick gank.. not jumping into a shit ton of dreads and supers with no support… moral of the story bl still does not nearly match up to pl

      July 8, 2013 at 11:39 pm Reply
      1. na

        Lol, BL never claimed their a match for PL. Fanboi BL play the way thats suits them. PL play theirs.

        July 8, 2013 at 11:45 pm Reply
    4. Dikreathz

      PL has no issue with BL, Goons paid them, Goons dropped Sov Goons MESSED WITH PL’S TIME GOONS!!! …. please fasten your seat-belts now aproaching VFK πŸ˜€ feel the RAGE

      July 9, 2013 at 7:24 am Reply
  9. Turd

    TEST alliance leadership admitting they are broke and losing! https://soundcloud.com/deaelunae/test-sota-7-7-thanks-all-1

    And to top it off….HORRIBLE singing for isk donations at the end. Classic!

    July 8, 2013 at 11:53 pm Reply
    1. CFC Pony

      Come on my fellow bees, with can shitpoast on better places than reddit.

      July 9, 2013 at 12:18 am Reply
      1. Dikreathz

        they said Vile Rat was a Rat (part of wiki-leaks and a terrorist) thats how to shit post πŸ˜€

        July 9, 2013 at 7:19 am Reply
  10. Been on reddit for 4 years....

    Drop the 3rd TE on the oracles, nanofibers are your friend, triple stacking is not. You should be able to fit 2x T2 LSE’s on those, and consider a locus coordinator for one of those em rigs. Also, use scorch, the only reason for multi is to hit smaller ship classes. Also, bring a few guys with target painters, stick some noobs in vigils, orbit oracles, paint primaries. You can thank me later Test (next time accept my app bro’s)

    July 9, 2013 at 12:21 am Reply
    1. Zambezia

      You are overqualified , app denied.

      July 9, 2013 at 10:05 am Reply
    2. Derp with us

      3rd Heat sink you mean, not TE? Reapply, your clear fumbling of words makes you a
      viable candidate. BTW, thanks for the tip about the vigil.

      http://eve-kill.net/?a=pilot_detail&view=kills&plt_id=1621201&m=7&y=2013

      July 10, 2013 at 1:22 pm Reply
  11. Fartolio

    lel

    July 9, 2013 at 3:42 am Reply
  12. asdf

    please somebody make a full 90min tv documentation about the war in fountain. itd be an epic piece of eve media.

    July 9, 2013 at 11:43 am Reply
  13. Piwot

    That’s not singing, that’s talking with a small intonation. /blap :p

    July 9, 2013 at 12:34 pm Reply
  14. Yeah Right.

    *snort* Provi has been using SBs to grind structures since -A- took over Provi over 3 years ago. You’re waaaaaaaaaaay behind being cutting edge for that.

    July 9, 2013 at 9:39 pm Reply
  15. lol

    Sorry but i must XD TEST

    http://i.imgur.com/ceQsF3C.png

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    July 9, 2013 at 11:50 pm Reply

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