Over at Poetic Discourse, Poetic Stanziel’s first post after joining a ClusterFuck Coalition (CFC) alliance (Gentlemen’s Agreement) was telling.

It was the sort of post one often sees from bloggers when they go on a new adventure. It was primarily a set of honest first impressions of the various admin and logistic hoops one invariably jumps through when joining a nullsec entity. He talked about how the experience met and varied from his expectations, all in a good humored way that often carried an undercurrent of excitement. You could tell Stanz was looking forward to trying nullsec on for size. Upon a time this would have been responded to with a chorus of welcomes and a bit of good-natured ribbing.

Instead, Stanz got beaten about the head and shoulders by Goonswarm’s Thought Police.

It seems a certain extreme orthodoxy has entered Goonswarm’s zeitgeist, causing its sense of humor to atrophy. I can’t say I’m too surprised.  Such an end is inevitable when a fun, irreverent bunch of souls like lez Goons are gagged, shackled and put under the yoke of a cult of personality. Likely they never saw it coming.

It began, I suspect, as such things often do.

Someone at the top suggested that outsiders offering insults to Goonswarm needed to be punished.  And out of an esprit de corps, and because it seemed a fun idea at the time, everybody was jiggy with it.  Soon enough someone at the top suggested it was necessary to control the Goonswarm narrative.  After all, Goons don’t want a bunch of pubbie bloggers telling their story, right?  So Goons all need to be on the same page, sending out the same message.  And out of an esprit de corps, and because it seemed a fun idea at the time, everybody was jiggy with it.  And then someone at the top suggested that even Goons offering insults to Goonswarm needed to be put in their place or shown the door with extreme prejudice.

And somewhere along the line, it stopped mattering if anybody was jiggy with it anymore.

Departure from orthodoxy became tantamount to treason, and suddenly there were a lot of self-important little grey men running around the swarm reporting insults to Goonswarm and un-Goon-like activities, and beating down any Goony nails with the temerity to stick up. Somewhere along the line, obedience became the measure of the bee.

It seems the bar for insults to Goonswarm has dropped so low that failing
to effuse over Goonswarm administrative interfaces or processes qualifies as a breach of orthodoxy.  Stanz writes a post that seeks to offend no-one, and is in almost every wise inoffensive. Yet the orthodoxy of little grey men with little grey minds is offended and Stanz must suffer their corrections. Going forward, Stanz must weigh every word he writes, lest the little grey men take umbrage.

Now, Stanz will not take kindly to being told what he can and can’t write. I’m pretty confident that if it were only Stanz on the line, he’d tell those little grey men where to put their little grey heads.  However, Stanz is not a solo act. He is a member of a corporation that has hitched its wagon to the CFC and they will suffer if Stanz does not ‘modulate’ his blog to avoid offending the sensibilities of the Goon orthodox.  This is how little grey men get control over their betters. 

I’ve seen it before. Good and thoughtful word-smiths have time and again bent their knee to avoid the tang of dissent and, eventually, even difference of opinion. Within Goonswarm’s ranks orthodoxy has replaced hijinks and the watchword has become that if you can’t say something nice about Goonswarm, you’re best saying nothing at all.

– Mord Fiddle

About the Author: Mord Fiddle’s writings are an invitation to high tea in a world of rave parties. His readers gather at for thoughtful analysis, daring prose, deep insights, and Mord’s tendency to use words not writ nor spoken conversationally since Middle English went out of fashion.


  1. morewillcome

    Truth…and inb4 the goonscrub thought police get to you too.

    May 8, 2013 at 9:52 pm Reply
  2. Dave From PL

    I want to get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus. I want to feel his salvation all over my face.

    May 8, 2013 at 10:08 pm Reply
    1. Dave not from PL

      Nice metaphor, lemme guess…Jesus being the large coalitions of Eve.

      May 9, 2013 at 1:23 am Reply
  3. The Observer

    The Cult of Personality aspect that was arisen in Goonswarm, and even most of the CFC is a crying shame. I remember when goons used to troll and insult and spam in local. The geniuses over at what is now called the 'Ministry of Love' lead Jihadswarm with a laissez faire attitude that worked wonders to catapult Goonswarm into infamy for all highsec carebears. Hell, even Test Alliance Please Ignore, the one alliance I was hoping would stay like the early GoonFleet, has had their alliance gestalt cut out from under them by the 'little grey men' of the CFC. This is why we all must fight the corrupted Goonswarm Federation and return to the ways of the bee.

    May 8, 2013 at 10:39 pm Reply
  4. krazyfosho

    wow i want my 1 min of life back

    May 8, 2013 at 10:46 pm Reply
    1. asdf


      May 9, 2013 at 1:30 am Reply
  5. just pathetic

    wow i had hoped at least some of the cfc wasnt this bad. now i know better. who in the world would actually stick around stay in such a garbage. nothing like forcing your corp members to be a meatshield for the mittens money machine…..

    if you are so special goons then you shouldnt need to silence others opinions. but i guess i would be afraid that people might wise up and take their hardworking members elsewhere if i was in the same boat

    May 8, 2013 at 10:51 pm Reply
    1. xxxxx

      Typical kool aid anti-goon knee jerk reaction I expect from the articles and comments section on eve 24. Keep up the gud poasting!!

      May 9, 2013 at 2:20 am Reply
      1. turbonig

        damn, I bet that piss-flavored kool-aid they serve at the Goon brewery must be addictive, just by the look of this comment…

        May 9, 2013 at 3:28 am Reply
      2. Jesus

        Goons should eat shit and die.

        May 9, 2013 at 6:30 am Reply
        1. -A- is still shit

          Congratulations you are the epitome of the evenews24 readership, aren't you proud riverini?

          May 9, 2013 at 8:06 pm Reply
      3. Gumpin

        paranoid much?

        May 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm Reply
  6. CFC

    hey CFC why dont ya ask sort dragon how that MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY attitude works out.

    May 8, 2013 at 11:00 pm Reply
    1. FA Grunt

      I think the CFC has been around a bit longer, and under more consistent leadership than the HBC… can't really compare them. Starting a new coalition and bringing it together is a lot more difficult than maintaining one that is already fully established.

      May 9, 2013 at 4:47 pm Reply
  7. ...

    funny thing is all the crap he got for pretty much saying getting setup in coaltions sucks balls (obvious) and CFC is bored (again, quite obvious)

    sounds to me like CFC members are expected to be drones, told when to walk and talk and when to grab a drake and shoot structures.

    May 8, 2013 at 11:54 pm Reply
  8. Gam_Samgee

    How is this any different from any other corp/alliance? Nobody likes people openly badmouthing their group particularly when you are seen as fundamentally an outsider. If I joined an N3 alliance and started blogging about how much their leadership sucked, I'd probably be given the boot. This isn't to say that there's absolutely no contrasting opinions, merely that there are ways in which those opinions should be expressed. Stanz' problem was that he sounded pretty whiny when he made that post and goons et al love to jump on that sort of thing. If he had said, man that's a lot hoops to jump through I hope I did it all right, instead of oh god I hate all these forms why does it have to be like this? he'd probably be doing just fine.

    May 9, 2013 at 12:01 am Reply
    1. ...

      rather big difference between saying XX leadership is terribad (which means little when its false) and saying bleh registering is so bleh….oh and goons are bored…..because nobody could have guessed that

      May 9, 2013 at 12:07 am Reply
    2. Jesus Loves You

      Most big alliances in Eve are like this, the bigger they get the more insane shit happens if you dare to step just a little bit out of line.

      TEST was bad even before the HBC. After the HBC they learned the way of their master sperg over lords from PL – and nothing was the same.

      Fuck 'em – the only real choice is to leave the alliances of these asshats and go elsewhere!

      May 9, 2013 at 2:16 pm Reply
  9. MushroomMushroom

    Im surprised at the lack of CFC DMC comments, they must be asleep

    May 9, 2013 at 12:55 am Reply
    1. Hehya

      I assume you are new so I'll explain, CFC reads the other news site, this one is for the anti-CFC only.

      May 9, 2013 at 1:22 am Reply
  10. Bigcountry

    This is simply not true … I am part of the CFC , and I also do a two hour LIVE talkshow on eve radio every week… and I have said my fair share of anti-CFC commentary.. where warranted . I have never been told to stop , and I know there are Goons that listen … Maybe not Mittens .. but I know others do… if your crying about all the steps it takes to register for mumble and forums , just get it done , dont cry…

    May 9, 2013 at 1:32 am Reply
    1. black and blue

      Perhaps you should have read the article. If you had you would know he wasn't crying about anything.

      May 9, 2013 at 6:59 am Reply
      1. Dirk MacGirk

        Pointing out the difficulties or deficiencies of anything is commonly referred to as crying/bitching/moaning. You know that. So in that regard, he was crying. Worse was his actual "forgive me" tears in his follow up post. I dint mean this and I don't mean that. Wah. Dude, man up.

        May 9, 2013 at 3:45 pm Reply
    2. Robert Lutherford

      Youre just drunk on the punch, they allow you to say what you say, there is a line, and when you cross that line and stain their "image", your leash is tugged. Just because you can occasionally express a negative view about goonswarm, does not mean they are lenient or not in control of your actions, pointing out flaws enforces a personality, which is what the koolaid fuels. you have been encultured and indoctrinated, a puppet who knows not when his strings ar epulled.

      May 9, 2013 at 8:29 am Reply
      1. Random CFC Grunt

        And of course as an outsider, you would know best, right? Who's drinking the kool aid man?…

        May 9, 2013 at 1:22 pm Reply
        1. Spy

          Lots of outsiders have some agents in cfc.

          May 9, 2013 at 2:11 pm Reply
          1. ---

            Daww 'agents', pubbie fuck thinks he's 007

            May 9, 2013 at 8:03 pm
    3. qwerty

      You sir are as dense as the rest of the bees. You're told before hand what to say and when to say it, to keep up apperences.

      You're on a leash just like the rest of them. We all know that CFC has stricter censorship then China. If not, then explaij why CFC Control has ALL your full API keys.

      May 9, 2013 at 2:18 pm Reply
      1. Ming Tso

        Even TEST requires full API keys.

        Because you're a moron if you don't get them.

        May 9, 2013 at 2:37 pm Reply
      2. ---

        Lol at the API nazi, go back to 2005 where you belong.

        May 9, 2013 at 8:02 pm Reply
      3. blubblub

        btw. EVEmon is from goons, so if you use it with full API, they already have it^^

        May 10, 2013 at 10:43 am Reply
    4. roguebee

      Hey Bigdickuphisass, go back to your censored show, and plow the fields like a mindless drone that you are so Mittens can collect his weekly RMT CCP backed payout.

      May 9, 2013 at 2:40 pm Reply
      1. Bigcountry

        LOL theres nothing censored about my show … and that is quite obvious to anyone who listens .. and If theres a reason for me to talk crap about the CFC , I will…. and have… I cant count how many time Ive called Mittani a douchebag attention whore….. and not once was i worried, oh no what will they think … aslong as you arent spreading lies, I imagine they prolly dont care.

        BTW – its obvious how open-minded you are , and its quite clear you are totally objective in your responses…

        May 10, 2013 at 1:01 am Reply
        1. roguebee

          I can see you asked permission and was told what to say in that reply.
          Fucking mindless drone.

          May 10, 2013 at 1:31 pm Reply
  11. Rhino

    Odd, when you read Poetics blog most of the comments relating to his entry to Gents are welcoming him and letting him know where to find ships on contracts.

    As for goons and EN24…. I think there is a meme going on here.

    May 9, 2013 at 1:34 am Reply
    1. ummm...

      You just noticed?

      May 9, 2013 at 3:47 am Reply
    2. -.-

      Bravo, you caught on…

      May 9, 2013 at 6:30 am Reply
  12. The_Oracle86

    i dont think po will bend his knee even if his corp will pay the price for it. If he did he'd lose all credibility just like Montz did when he allowed himself to get leashed by shadoo.

    May 9, 2013 at 1:34 am Reply
  13. Akrasjel Lanate

    If that true then… yay lol

    May 9, 2013 at 10:09 am Reply
  14. TL:DR;

    Goons been chugging the kool-aid, have been for years.

    May 9, 2013 at 11:11 am Reply
  15. .....

    i hate goons, but hey i needed isk after fighting wars for a year, so i joined them so i can isk up build myself some supers, then leave them and shoot the goons with my supers wich they payed for by reinbursing my ships

    May 9, 2013 at 12:03 pm Reply
  16. swampdonkey

    Goons have a well deserved reputation for racism, anti-semitism, mysoginy, homophobia, xenophobia, and every other sort of nasty bigoty, of which they seem to be proud. Whenever Goons are in system, local invariably fills with jew, nigger, and fag references. Why CCP continues to tolerate this is a mystery. Their leader narrowly avoided prosecution for hate-speech last year.

    On the other side of the coin they generally cry a fucking river whenever a blogger says anything not nice about them.

    Quite why Poetic Stanziel decided to join CFC out of all the nullsec blocs is a mystery, and a decision he may be already coming to regret.

    May 9, 2013 at 12:27 pm Reply
    1. Ming Tso

      Why don't you just call them "nullbears" you literal faggot

      May 9, 2013 at 12:44 pm Reply
      1. The Mittani

        Have you thought of hanging yourself?

        You ought to.

        May 9, 2013 at 3:59 pm Reply
    2. Dirk MacGirk

      Welcome to Internet anonymity "swampdonkey". It's not just goons or Eve. Too many anonymous schmucks will always opt for the low brow and vile. But it's more that just goons. By a long shot

      May 9, 2013 at 3:49 pm Reply
    3. Aaron

      Read into how Goons started and you'd understand why they have that reputation. They're far more laid back these days.

      May 10, 2013 at 11:22 am Reply
  17. Dirk MacGirk

    Well-written piece. Nice to see some Eve dorks can link multiple sentences together. However, good wordsmithing doesn't make the subject matter correct. There are no thought police throughout the CFC moderating anything any of us say, internally or externally. I guess that isn't to say that if you go full retard you won't catch some shit if it winds up being slanderous to the organization, but that's life in general. But I would put it more like this: insiders say bad things all the time and its no big deal. But if an outsider says something negative, no matter how small the slight, the bees will defend the hive. Again, nothing new there. You can call your sister ugly and she may very well be fucking hideous. But if your friend or some random dude calls her ugly, it's time to defend your sister.

    May 9, 2013 at 2:06 pm Reply
  18. Can't beat the goon thought police..

    You can't keep a shambolic dictatorship together without 'the eternal external threat' and when all realistic extenral threat is gone you got to make one internally.

    Now be a good little bee and play as you are told or under the short bus you go!

    May 9, 2013 at 7:17 pm Reply
  19. Gumpin

    mittens is now space stalin. Everyone is anti-goon and out to get him.

    May 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm Reply
    1. Aaron

      And noone has the balls to try.

      May 10, 2013 at 11:21 am Reply
  20. DubbaYooArr

    goons? hypocritical? wha are you smoking?

    May 10, 2013 at 4:04 pm Reply
  21. mwd

    to be fair the people insulting him were like two guys. In a group as large as the cfc having that few dbags attacking you over anything is a pretty big surprise in and of itself

    May 12, 2013 at 5:27 am Reply

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