There is a board game called Diplomacy.  It is based on Europe during WWI and is profoundly simple in its basics.  Each player starts with one country. Each player gets on move per game. Random chance plays no part in this game; there are no dice.

I know, it sounds a bit boring, but the game has little to do with military tactics and strategy. The most important skill in the game is a talent for serial betrayal; that is, the ability to get other players to trust you while you stand, with a bloody knife in your hand, over the body of the last player who trusted you. Never play Diplomacy with anyone you wish to keep as a friend; I’ve seen marriages end and bosom friends come to blows over this game.

I would tell you that you should avoid contact with tournament-level Diplomacy players (yes, there are tournaments) at all costs, but that would be futile. Your first instinct upon meeting such a person will be to like and trust them, even knowing their ultimate intentions toward you are against your interest. You will want them to like you, even knowing they are trying to get you to piss into your own cornflakes. And they will be able to convince you to piss into your own cornflakes time and again. Given time, the best Diplomacy players can get their victims to take pleasure in pissing over their own cornflakes.

Over at Honey Badger Coalition (HBC), they’re being conditioned to enjoy the taste of urine-soaked breakfast cereals.

In Farms & Fields: Metagame I said that, having cut HBC’s leader Montolio’s hamstrings, Pandemic Legion (PL) would abandon the coalition and side with Clusterfuck Coalition (CFC) once HBC was sufficiently undermined. In a variation on that theme, Pandemic Legion (PL) engineered a coup in HBC, purging Montolio from the coalition altogether. There are indications that Raiden[dot] was key supporter of the PL power grab and the position of Raiden within the coaliton has been improved considerably as a result. Thus PL, previously something of a trusted advisor in a coalition nominally run by Test Alliance Please Ignore, has assumed outright control.  And when I say that PL is in control of HBC coalition, understand that they are are running HBS on close coordination with CFC, and with CFC’s best interests in mind.

In effect, CFC has engineered a takeover of the HBC coalition.

The usual post-purge activities are underway. Those loyal to the new order are being rewarded. A subset of those whose loyalty is in question are being marginalized; either stripped of sov altogether or demoted to marginal sov systems on the Southern front. This forces others who might object to the new order to hesitate, allowing PL to expunge the opposition piecemeal rather than attempting a mass purge and running the risk of civil war within the coalition. Frogs and boiling water, as they say.  Following the CFC model, PL and Raiden have moved to control the HBC internal narrative and announced that key forums and communication channels will be censored in order to maintain intra-coalition harmony.

‘Cause, you know, PL is all about harmony. 

From here, I expect PL/CFC will maintain HBC on one of two glide paths to irrelevancy.  Both involve purging any elements troublesome to PL/CFC control of HBC from the coalition or rendering those them ineffective financially and militarily.  In this way, HBC will be slowly emasculated to remove the will or capacity to fight the CFC. Any HBC entities capable of effective resistance to the CFC will be either rendered ineffective or exiled to lowsec to play Faction Warfare. Then it will be a simple matter of choosing between keeping the HBC husk as a puppet kingdom or putting it to the sword in order to provide CFC and PL in-game content.

As they dismantle the only remaining entity capable of challenging CFC,  PL might be tempted to think their relationship with the CFC is special;
that the bloody ice-pick presently being employed to lobotomize and emasculate the HBC will
never threaten PL.  However, Pandemic’s leadership may be just paranoid enough to recall the nature of the CFC metagame; that it, like Diplomacy, depends on a talent for serial betrayal.

I recommend each of you send Shadoo a box of Corn Flakes by way of reminder.

– Mord Fiddle

About the Author: Mord Fiddle’s writings are an invitation to high tea in a world of rave parties. His readers gather at for thoughtful analysis, daring prose, deep insights, and Mord’s tendency to use words not writ nor spoken conversationally since Middle English went out of fashion.


  1. gentlemen… the most risk averse alliance in null.

    April 5, 2013 at 7:04 pm Reply
    1. lol....

      GSF has less blues then PL…..

      what the fuck is going on?

      April 5, 2013 at 7:09 pm Reply
      1. orly?

        Don't you get it? This is the part where they win.

        "One more such victory…"

        April 5, 2013 at 9:07 pm Reply
      2. just_me

        Goons hasn't been updated since August of last year check the dates

        April 5, 2013 at 9:21 pm Reply
        1. VoC Duder

          then why is LI3 +10?

          April 6, 2013 at 2:52 am Reply
          1. Urziel99

            LI3 isn't on the eve-skunk list and it still has convicted at +10. Old news

            April 6, 2013 at 9:28 am
      3. April 5, 2013 at 10:08 pm Reply

      So, everyone keeps linking this. Take a look at all the +5's there (pretty much all), they are alt corps. Your point would be valid if each one of those were real 2k man alliances (like the cfc's case for e.g).

      So please, do us all a favour and fuck off back to you cfc hole XOXO

      April 6, 2013 at 12:24 am Reply
      1. R U sure?

        So that means that PL being the main alliance in this case has given +5 to OVER 100 groups and according to you, "(pretty much all)," are their alts? If that is the case how do they ever find time to log into their mains?

        April 6, 2013 at 6:19 am Reply
        1. PL grunt

          LOL How do you think we have one of the best logistical backbones to cyno in shit anywhere in game hotdrop on whomever we want? With our mains? LOL

          April 6, 2013 at 6:39 am Reply
          1. Guy

            A lot of the neutral alts floating around for PL were in NPC corps or backup legion. I don't see how you'd need 100 entities set light blue to run a dozen cyno alts anyway. There are also a few smaller n3 alliances and renters in that light blue list.

            April 6, 2013 at 2:21 pm
      2. NNN

        PL have mastered "the art of fighting, without fighting". blue everything

        April 6, 2013 at 8:29 am Reply
    3. PL SPAI

      Is Black Legion the only guys fighting?

      April 8, 2013 at 1:14 pm Reply
  2. MrDerp


    April 5, 2013 at 7:09 pm Reply
  3. MrDerp
    April 5, 2013 at 7:10 pm Reply
  4. FA grunt

    Don't give pl that much credit test shot themselves in the foot. Pl backing them or not in a tough spot would be the only issue. But instead of making a stand Montollio threw everything in the air and said fuck this…..that is when pl took advantage of the situation. Don't read too heavy into it. Raidan would never challenge pl but they did stress out test leadership to the point of quiting from any responsibilities……this is not real life where people will really die or reputations can be really destroyed by exposure of information. If Montollio was truly pushed out of power he would of took over test and still be its leader or at least reddit but no he burned out and said I just want to be a drone again

    April 5, 2013 at 8:38 pm Reply
    1. Really?

      So you don't find it interesting that Raiden makes them rage quit and then stops and lets PL take over instead of filling the power vacuum they created themselves?

      April 5, 2013 at 10:09 pm Reply
      1. FA grunt

        They were scared to go head to head with pls cap fleet

        April 6, 2013 at 8:55 pm Reply
        1. why u blue PL?

          Yeah they are so are you (CFC), and N3 which is how we got in the situation of all of you bluing each other, too bad none of you have the stones to want to fight PL's cap fleet, as this whole situation may have been avoided.

          April 7, 2013 at 8:54 pm Reply
  5. Leicester

    Test Alliance called the shots in HBC?

    Ho ho, he he, it is to laugh.

    April 5, 2013 at 9:28 pm Reply
  6. PL grunt

    You don't get it .. we run all the main 0.0 alliances outside of Solar.. Nothing happens unless we say so.

    Playing one alliance/ coalition against the other is just a game of chess to us.

    April 5, 2013 at 9:28 pm Reply
    1. LOL

      If your name showed as CFC grunt we might have believed you, now go ask mittens what he wants you to do next.

      April 5, 2013 at 10:01 pm Reply
    2. Titus Veridius


      April 5, 2013 at 10:02 pm Reply
  7. Khorum

    This has to be a troll.

    April 5, 2013 at 9:56 pm Reply
  8. Khorum

    Someone's tinfoil hat is on too tightly :)

    April 5, 2013 at 9:58 pm Reply
    1. Hmmm. Well that’s always possible. Let me check.

      Nope. It’s mounted according to the factory specs.

      Even gets a Direct TV feed. Go figure.

      April 5, 2013 at 10:20 pm Reply
      1. Khorum

        +1 for humor

        April 5, 2013 at 10:36 pm Reply
        1. Well, you've gotta laugh, you know. When the CFC forum-warriors yell 'tin-foil' I take is as a complement. It's sort of like politicians yelling 'entrapment' when you catch them taking a bribe.

          April 6, 2013 at 2:14 am Reply
          1. mush

            Or there's a simpler explanation and you indeed wear a tinfoil hat of enormous proportion with an internal atmosphere of some weird shit that makes your brain go to mush…

            April 6, 2013 at 3:34 am
          2. Well, bongs are really my go-to device for internal atmospheres of weird shit. Tin foil conducts the heat too much and leaks water all over the place. But hey, if it works for you, I say stick with it.

            April 6, 2013 at 4:07 am
  9. Azule

    You see, PL thinks they are immune. CFC can't possibly be out to get them, they are friends after all. And the final thing is, this can't possibly happen cause Shadoo eats Wheaties!

    April 5, 2013 at 10:06 pm Reply
  10. Bollocks

    Cites no sources, not even anonymous ones.

    -10 for lack of effort.

    April 5, 2013 at 10:47 pm Reply
  11. BORT Grunt

    Please Papa goon let us be friends again :(

    April 5, 2013 at 11:04 pm Reply
  12. fail derp thread

    You know raiden is fail..and even thinking they had anything to do with something that mattered is fail. shit article. pretty much HBC and CFC are butt buddies.

    April 5, 2013 at 11:10 pm Reply
  13. Yeah Right.


    April 6, 2013 at 12:22 am Reply
  14. Oblivious

    likely the single worst OP on this website ever, whichy says something…

    April 6, 2013 at 12:52 am Reply
  15. 1337bittervet

    Did your mother drop you on your head as a child?

    April 6, 2013 at 1:04 am Reply
  16. eve pilot

    nice try at tying to marginalise PL form the HBC but your reasoning just doesnt cut it for on simple reason you say you replaced an unstable alliance leader with a stable it should be the other way round so the house of cards long before pandemic realise CFC are ripe for the removal from nullsec and hammer the CFC with help from N3 and the rest of HBC.and turn that part of null into a thunderdome of compeating alliances this is what eve need to remain refreshed or as its doing now its stagnating and the war from eve has to happen or within the next 18 months there wll be mass unsubs out of sheer boredom

    April 6, 2013 at 1:05 am Reply
    1. Hmm

      yeah, let's turn the richest area of space into a thunderdome

      April 6, 2013 at 1:23 am Reply
    2. I find this funny considering Test and PL leadership are planning for the HBC to start purging blues, consolidate down to very little sov and trim test down to about 2k ppl. I got news for ya, the HBC is a lost cause without Montolio.

      April 6, 2013 at 1:50 am Reply
      1. Make way for

        There's BO opertunity for HBC to become anything relivant on their own since PL/Cfc are in control of them. Best bet is for a new power to rise and develop by new leadership supported by old. As it stands sort dragon will do absolutely nothin to benifit HBC as a independent coalition. As an example his own corp resilience are a shell of themselves so he can do very little, an likely intends to very little aswell.

        April 6, 2013 at 2:26 am Reply
    3. you are dumb

      This won't happen because PL makes their money in Tech moons still, the whole renter thing just started and when it comes to tech, their moons are mostly in CFC space which results in the CFC being able to tell PL how shit works as a result of the death grip they have on PL's balls… I mean income.

      April 6, 2013 at 3:51 am Reply
      1. FailCascade

        They're also establishing a huge renter empire in the east, on the complete opposite side of the universe. This way if the value of tech does go down the toilet, they can side with N3 and still keep their revenue stream intact. PL isn't on the CFC's side; they're playing EVERY side simultaneously.

        April 6, 2013 at 4:55 am Reply
  17. The_Oracle86

    This is a BRILLIANT article!!!

    Great read, keep them coming please.

    April 6, 2013 at 2:36 am Reply
  18. puppetmasta

    T I N F O I L F O IL T I N

    I am the puppetmasta!

    April 6, 2013 at 3:26 am Reply
  19. wtf

    So wait, Raiden is working for goons to bring down the HBC? WTF is this shit?

    April 6, 2013 at 3:29 am Reply
    1. WTF!?!

      More like Raiden was taking orders from PL to displace monty, so sort could step up at which point the CFC's hand was found to be shoved so far up sort ass that it did indeed allow mittens to work sorts mouth like a puppet.

      April 7, 2013 at 9:12 pm Reply
  20. Provibloc

    don't like blue donuts? flip NRDS

    April 6, 2013 at 6:50 am Reply
  21. WWW

    There never was any will to fight the CFC.


    True story.

    April 6, 2013 at 9:52 am Reply
  22. Bob_the_Bitcher

    Ok. Lets assume its true! Where's the proof??? All I see are allegations, speculation and conjecture. I don't care either way – Truth or False. But I get pissed if writers on this forum postulate theories with no real proof.

    Fail Post is Fail!

    April 6, 2013 at 10:42 am Reply
    1. Most of the sources are publicly available descriptions of events. Some insights as to what lay behind those events were provided by high ranking members of the CFC and HBC, whose names I don't give out for obvious reasons.

      April 6, 2013 at 5:49 pm Reply
  23. Naked Gamer

    you would have to be a complete retard to rent space off any major alliance …ppl will say its to provide content/raise sec status/provide isk … yeah but why would you even pay rent to some scrub back stabbing alliance anyways when there's more isk to be made in wormhole space ….. BTW Do ppl still play eve ?

    call me when cfc/hbc are going to war fgts

    April 6, 2013 at 11:07 am Reply
  24. Dave from FAsucks

    who is still playing Eve? Since months, when I check here or on, nothing has happened. Only Dave from whateversucks seems to still play Eve. Keep on trying maybe you "win" in a couple years vs the RMT companies.

    April 6, 2013 at 12:44 pm Reply
    1. curiousssssss

      If no one playing eve, who will buy the ISKies?

      April 6, 2013 at 1:08 pm Reply
    2. I just do not know

      I am bored, I got bored of the stagnent 0.0, went back to HS and then got even more bored, so looks like I will de-sub in the near future, going to do some other things for a bit and see if I am relaxed about it, and if so, thats it, de-sub until the new POS system is in place, or should I say will not be platying until that new POS system arrives it at all…

      April 6, 2013 at 1:24 pm Reply
  25. blobbystander

    Does this mean test and co. might grow a pair and go fight some ppl? Does this mean we might see a war in the north, and some other shit go on. Problay not, knowing most of hbc's leadership they will take what they can out of the new hbc than jump ships when they either get shafted or cant take the PL bs. And yet another nail in the coffin to the hbc, and another step towards -a- coming back. Great just what we need.

    April 6, 2013 at 1:04 pm Reply
    1. why u blue PL?

      Test is blue to PL, PL. is blue with CFC and N3, with all 4 sov blocs blued directly or indirectly who exactly are they going to go fight?

      April 7, 2013 at 2:41 am Reply
      1. Anona-mouse

        They'll go shoot Jita again and make it into a big spectacle of course! They can't be bothered to do anything in null so they stir up unnecessary shit elsewhere.

        April 8, 2013 at 3:35 am Reply
    2. lol

      PL, Goons, and Test are all same people.

      They are one coalition, they always have been and always will be

      April 8, 2013 at 12:19 am Reply
  26. SG Goonslap

    Good riddance to Montolio, that kid has been passed around the cell block just a few times too many, and is now consigned to rocking back and forth in the corner babbling incoherently to himself. Hey Montolio, remember F08 and CU9 about 2 years ago ? Enjoy your retirement you sniveling little cunt.

    April 6, 2013 at 1:50 pm Reply
  27. thefuck?

    Wolololol… Make more stuff up!

    April 6, 2013 at 2:04 pm Reply
  28. Dave from PL

    Montrolio is the real winner here as we in effect paid for his wedding

    April 6, 2013 at 2:08 pm Reply
  29. MindRanger

    Dude, you need a tinfoil hat the size of Texas. And a massive amount of professional help. But I suspect you're beyond professional help already.

    You remind me of that mobile home radio dude in the movie "2012"…

    April 6, 2013 at 2:39 pm Reply
  30. superpartiakurwo

    pathetic legion is all about… harmony

    sure they are

    April 6, 2013 at 4:29 pm Reply
  31. test pet

    goon's propaganda

    April 6, 2013 at 6:58 pm Reply
    1. old timer

      best propaganda

      April 6, 2013 at 7:15 pm Reply
  32. old timer

    i know mittens is undisputed wolrd champion of metagaming , but do you guys thinks that goonies haves something to do with the RA block implosion, with RA attacking darkspawn sovs , and DSP being helped by INK against the RA agression ?

    looks like solar is gonna have a word to say in that forever ongoing russian civil war , chap 3.

    April 6, 2013 at 7:14 pm Reply
  33. Namib

    bah cfc test and shampo can eat my sanshas supercap .. brown and hot… they ruinned the game and deserve it

    April 7, 2013 at 11:21 pm Reply
  34. fulou

    New policy IIFSI (IF it's flying, shoot it)

    problem solved.

    April 8, 2013 at 1:15 pm Reply

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