Last month, I wrote an article pointing out some of the more… ridiculous loss mails of super capital pilots.  It was well received.  I received requests in the comments as well as in game and on twitter to continue doing articles like this.  The phrase “the invisible fist of Darwin” seemed well received, so welcome to what will hopefully be a monthly article naming and shaming some of the most over-the-top loss mails of the previous month.

This month, in the wake of Burn Jita, freighter pilots are an obvious choice. With that said, we can start off by saying any freighter that undocked like it was just another day, then died in a fire, are on this list. All 36 of them and let’s not forget the 8 jump freighters.  You guys are short bus special.  However, the invisible fist of Darwin was unable to kill off all of the unfit to survive during that weekend.  Many more continued on into the next month.  But Darwin is a terrible, hungry foe, and he ruthlessly tracked down more for your viewing pleasure. A few more supers died as well.

Ratting Nyx Warps to the Gate

  • Pilot had been ratting. Got spooked by a scout… and warped to the gate.
  • There are claims that it was a broken bot, either way, fail!
  • Against All Authorities acted as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • Killmail

The “I ass fucked your GF” Wyvern

  • Pilot ignores orders from CEO to stop ratting while neuts are in local.
  • CEO tells the pilot to log off, jump out, or prepare to lose the ship to his alliance.
  • Pilot says “bring it.”
  • While his Wyvern is under attack, the pilot calls out his RL friend, claiming the attack is because he slept with his gf.
  • Ripard Teg found the transcripts and let the rest of us in on this little space drama.
  • In the end, his own alliance, Krysis, and Cascade Imminent acted as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • Days later, Krysis disbands.
  • Killmail

Why DRF used to have nice things

  • SOLAR Jump freighter moving loot into empire while under a war dec.
  • Almost 9 billion isk worth of Plush in his hold.
  • TAXU legion and Jag acted as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • Killmail

Blind Jump while hauling stuff for others

  • Blind Jumping is a bad idea.
  • Blind Jumping a jump freighter is just plain retarded.
  • Jumping into a system with a cyno character in it that led to a loss (in the same system) four days prior? Priceless.
  • EveSkunk caught his apology mail.
  • Caleastra +1 acted as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • Killmail

If at first you don’t succeed, do the same thing over and over…

  • Burazer of Circle-of-Two is a complete imbecile.
  • He apparently is very bad at Eve (he rarely gets kills and loses a lot of bling).
  • He keeps losing expensive ships repeatedly: 5-12 Nyx4-12 Nyx3-11 Nyx2-11 Nyx12-10 Thanny.
  • His fits… I think he thinks he’s PVPing? But that would be silly because he is just losing ships
  • NCdot/BL act as the invisible fist of Darwin this time. But, by now, everyone has had a shot at him.
  • Killmail

Never Not Haul Shiny While War Dec’d

  • Hauling in a freighter while under a war dec is pro.
  • The shiny loot…
  • Coven act as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • Killmail

Caleastra is a HOT DROP CYNO ALT

  • If the first three jump freighter kills of this month haven’t given it away yet…
  • Keep jumping into him. You might cause him to die of laughter.
  • Caleastra +1 act as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • Killmail

Caleastra hot dropping er’day

  • Again.
  • Imperial Legion Jump Freighter… Again.
  • This is the third jump freighter they’ve lost in two weeks to Caleastra.
  • Caleastra +1 act as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • Killmail

Red Alliance tries to drown Moar Tears in tears

  • If your first jump frieghter doesn’t make it, send two more in to see what happened.
  • Moar Tears really didn’t have to try here, this is just terribad hauling.
  • Moar Tears act as the invisible fist of Darwin.
  • JF 1
  • JF 2
  • JF 3

Hauling Blueprints in Low Sec

  • Obelisk moving capital blueprints through low sec apparently thought a hurricane and a wolf was enough support.
  • An estimated 60 billion isk worth of blueprints in the cargo hold.
  • Not 6 point 0… We’re talking about the cost of a titan hull here.
  • Spectrum Alliance and AAA acted as the invisible fist of Darwin with only three battlecruisers.
  • Killmail

Fred Garrison was on the gate in his hurricane.  The gate flashed three times and an artillery hurricane and a wolf decloaked to engage him.  While he was fighting them, an Obelisk decloaked and began aligning.  He quickly locked it and put his point on the Obelisk (realizing the other two ships would fight to the death for the Obelisk anyway, so he didn’t need a point to keep them in place).  He began yelling for help from his corp mates.  While they burned to him, he popped one support ship and was fighting the second when his corp mates engaged.  Fortuitous timing as he was entering hull, and the Obelisk would have been able to warp off if his hurricane went down.  Unfortunately for the Obelisk pilot, the other two battlecruisers, piloted by SamuelK and VaL Iscariot, were able to get additional points on the freighter, allowing Fred to warp out, while trailing flames from his hero hurricane.  After their elation at having caught a freighter in low sec, they began looking in the cans… and more than likely had to change their underwear.  Capital BPOs.  Tons of them.  They quickly brought their orcas to the gate and began ferrying away the loot, eventually leaving behind the four freighter cans as a monument to their accomplishment.

The Godfather’s Wolf pilot, DalsieQ, simply said:

This was a sad day on the history of B.P.M.

Indeed.  Good shooting to everyone involved.


P.S. The next article will probably have a tip of the hat to Helicity Boson and discuss high sec mining.

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  1. Fumb duck

    Why are these image links dead? Again in this article there's a dead image next to "Hauling Blueprints in Low Sec"…

    May 22, 2012 at 7:01 pm Reply
  2. Jabier

    Are people to cheap to use own cyno alts these days?

    May 22, 2012 at 7:03 pm Reply
  3. Jabier

    It works for me, you broke it!

    May 22, 2012 at 7:05 pm Reply
  4. Space troll

    Pics or it didn't happen

    May 22, 2012 at 7:41 pm Reply
  5. omgwtfbbq

    the 3 red jf… well thats moar tears! having more neutral alts on gates then they have people in their alliance!

    May 22, 2012 at 7:53 pm Reply
    1. Because all alliances should have lots of members and scouting with an in-corp alt is a good strategy to get kills in highsec.

      May 22, 2012 at 8:58 pm Reply
  6. burazerroflmao

    CO2 is a joke

    May 22, 2012 at 8:32 pm Reply
  7. That Guy

    This guy was in a Carrier ratting when we was swormed by thrashers. Decided to SD instead of having the KM out there…….

    May 22, 2012 at 9:03 pm Reply
    1. poonus

      what is all the code ,,.. doing at the bottom of your killboard?

      May 23, 2012 at 12:24 am Reply
  8. D34CSM 8

    I like this +1 for the author

    May 23, 2012 at 1:30 am Reply
  9. demoniX

    NO way to confirm that that godfothers freighter had bpo's since they were in a can, eve cant determine with killmails if they were bpc's or bpo's.

    May 23, 2012 at 4:04 am Reply
    1. Urziel99

      You know they fixed that some time ago right?

      May 24, 2012 at 6:59 am Reply
  10. Co2 dude

    I thought the role of a news site was to investigate stuff, and posting stuff without the backbone of the story is very news like right?

    May 23, 2012 at 2:41 pm Reply
  11. Imigo

    Doesn't work for me either. Chrome issue (that's what I'm using)?

    May 24, 2012 at 2:47 am Reply
    1. Bagehi
      May 24, 2012 at 3:23 am Reply

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