TL;DR Test react violently when people screw over new players in their alliance.

A few days ago, Poetic posting a road map for new players here.  He gave props to Eve Uni for their crash course programs which teach new players the ropes rather than letting them run full speed into/off the learning cliff of Eve Online.  Most people would agree with his points.  Eve Uni is respected throughout Eve for training new players.  Eve Uni is also well known, throughout Eve for harboring some excessively risk averse, theme-park-ish individuals who hide in their corner of the sandbox out of fear that someone might ruin their sandcastle.  I found myself nodding with all his points until it got to an off-the-cuff comment he made about Test and Goons.  Many players see Test and Goons from the outside.  Neither alliance is terribly nice to outsiders.  This is a multiplayer sandbox though, so eventually you have to stomp on other people’s sandcastles.  However, many players make the fallacious assumption that if they are mean to others, and seemingly mean to each other (never not shoot blues) they must be raging dick heads to new players who join their corps/alliances.  In a shocking twist, this misconception is completely the reverse of reality.  Yesterday, one of the Test FCs was talking about this in a fleet I was flying with.  Ironically enough, mere hours later, a fine example of the protective attitude of Testies towards new members (newbros) unfolded.

A newbro, who began playing Eve about two months ago, and joined Dreddit (Test’s main corp) two weeks ago, named Baron von Beijendorf was out ratting a jump out of Test’s home system.  To tug on your heartstrings a little more, this newbro had also taken to heart the newbro concept and had taken an even newer-bro under his wing, bringing him along and letting him salvage/loot while he shot rats.  All was going well for the pair until they warped into a new belt and saw three rat battleships warp into them.  Baron dutifully began locking them in his armor hurricane, when he noticed the bounty on one of them was 21m isk.  Shocked, and perhaps a bit giddy, he angled for that one first.  Then it shot him.  His shields melted away in the first salvo.  It began to dawn on him that the difficulty curve might follow the bounty curve.  The second salvo removed half of his armor tank.  He immediately began trying to align and get out.  The third salvo sent him deep into hull and he warned the other newbro to get out.

POP!

For those who didn’t already figure out what they were shooting, or haven’t already looked at the loss mail, they had engaged and lost to Tuvan Orth, an officer rat.  This is the kind of spawn ratters dream of.  A one in a million spawn.  The adorable newbro posted in alliance chat what he found and what had happened:

[ 2012.05.07 08:19:52 ] Baron von Beijendorf > To anyone that wants a faction spawn, B17O-R VIII – Asteroid Belt 3: Tuvan Urth.
[ 2012.05.07 08:20:04 ] Baron von Beijendorf > He killed me. :<
[ 2012.05.07 08:20:29 ] Baron von Beijendorf > Tuvan Orth*

He still did not fully realize what he had stumbled upon. Myravingian quickly piped up that he was taking it:

[ 2012.05.07 08:23:31 ] Myravingian > im on my way in a tenjew now

Nothing out of the ordinary yet.  The newbro probably already knew he couldn’t get in on that fight.  A few tengus warped in and the battle commenced.  Baron said he was going to warp back in to loot his wreck.  When the fight ended, one of the tengus began angling for Baron’s wreck, but he was able to loot his dead hurricane.  Meanwhile, Myravingian, apparently used to how things were done in Bricksquad (or perhaps just to gloat) began to post what he had nabbed from the Tuvan Orth wreck in alliance chat:

[ 2012.05.07 08:29:50 ] Myravingian > i got it all
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:07 ] Myravingian > Guardian Iron Charge L Tuvan Orth’s Tag
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:10 ] Myravingian > Shadow Serpentis Adaptive Nano Plating
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:12 ] Myravingian > Shadow Serpentis Armor Thermic Hardener
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:15 ] Myravingian > Shadow Serpentis Energized Explosive Membrane
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:17 ] Myravingian > Tuvan’s Modified Co-Processor
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:20 ] Myravingian > Shadow Serpentis Neutron Blaster Cannon
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:22 ] Myravingian > Shadow Serpentis Power Diagnostic System
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:25 ] Myravingian > Shadow Serpentis Reactor Control Unit
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:27 ] Myravingian > Shadow Serpentis Sensor Booster
[ 2012.05.07 08:30:29 ] Myravingian > Tuvan’s Modified Tracking Computer

Billions of isk worth of stuff.  Just the Co-Processor alone is a 4b haul.  Not bad.  Again, Myravingian is clearly used to how things work outside Test (being new to the alliance himself), so when Verb Object mentions that he needs to hook up Baron with a finder’s fee:

[ 2012.05.07 08:31:12 ] Verb Object > someone should hook the finder up with a little fee

He responds in the negative, and things go downhill from there:

[08:33:52] Myravingian > LMAO THIS IS TEST, NOT A CHARITY

Pseudo Ucksth was quick on the uptake:

[ 2012.05.07 08:35:14 ] Pseudo Ucksth > baron: are you an adorable newbie?
[ 2012.05.07 08:35:43 ] Pseudo Ucksth > was that guy mean to you?

And the more Myravingian opened his mouth, the more stupid flowed, and the more the crowd turned against him.  His moment of glory quickly being shattered.

[ 2012.05.07 08:36:41 ] Myravingian > eh, dont make out like any of yall would do any fucking different, and me and one of my bros pacted on the way in if either of us got it we wud share, and i will share…. with him
[ 2012.05.07 08:36:58 ] Pseudo Ucksth > myravingian who the fuck are you
[ 2012.05.07 08:37:08 ] Myravingian > who the fuck are you?
[ 2012.05.07 08:37:22 ] Pseudo Ucksth > not a j4g faggot
[ 2012.05.07 08:37:54 ] A3sir > I’d be 50/50 for that spawn…srs
[ 2012.05.07 08:37:59 ] A3sir > he just gave it to you
[ 2012.05.07 08:38:11 ] Pseudo Ucksth > i’ve never seen you on comms therefore you are a j4g shitlord
[ 2012.05.07 08:38:14 ] JohnDeere > serious all you had to do was ship in and press f1
[ 2012.05.07 08:38:16 ] Myravingian > he did not, he got himself killed taking opn sumthing that was too big for him
[ 2012.05.07 08:40:40 ] Myravingian > fukit, im not a nice guy, get over it
[ 2012.05.07 08:41:46 ] Myravingian > well if people in the alliance didnt attack my corpmates carriers maybe i would be a lil more forthcoming with people
[ 2012.05.07 08:44:58 ] Myravingian > 10 bill!!! fucking yeah!!!!!
[ 2012.05.07 08:45:09 ] Baron von Beijendorf > Myra, please stop. :<
[ 2012.05.07 08:45:37 ] Myravingian > fuck no i wont stop, i just hit the fucking jackpot
[ 2012.05.07 08:47:58 ] Myravingian > i would gloat in corpchat, but here its much funnier

And, at that moment, the crowd went against him.  In the span of an hour, the alliance rallied around the newbro, and against Myravingian.  Isk began pouring into Baron’s account from donors too numerous to count and a thread was started asking for leadership to do something about Myravingian.  Many members of test openly stated that he was KOS to them.  DurrHurrDurr eventually chimed in with:

Newbie gets 100% of the drop. He can distribute it amongst the other people involved as he chooses, as long as the cut Myravingian receives is 0%.

I AM THE LAW

At which point, eyes began to turn on the CEO of the corp Myravingian had just joined, wondering how a member of an alliance -10 to Test could get into a corp in Test directly the way he had.  It was turning ugly.  There were calls for his entire corp getting booting from Test.  Boogie Jones, always one to gleefully shoot blues, backed up what DHD said.  Isomerc, of the lemons, announced he was KOS.  Then directors began showing up in the thread and stating that Myravingian was in trouble, in various colorful ways.  Myravingian was then camped into station.  Then leadership began weighing in with much the same view on the topic.  It was then discovered that Myravingian had also badmouthed one of Test’s beloved FCs, Dingo.  The hate continued to mount, as did the piles of isk being dumped in Baron’s account.  Baron posted this heartwarming comment, just oozing with warm fuzzies:

Oh, wow… I don’t know what to say, I’ve never seen such an enormous unification to protect new players before! You’re fantastic, and thank you so very greatly incredibly much!!:D

Also, please please please stop sending me ISK!! I can’t let myself profit off altruistic and empathic alliance members! I already love you guys, and will never stop joining you in fleets as long as there are free Rifters and Blackbirds to be had! :3 So if you want your ridiculously huge piles of ISK back, please mail me so I don’t offend someone by refusing gifts. Odds are you need it more than me since I can’t fly very much yet, so there’s no hard feelings on my part for returning it. :)

Also, if any of the officer loot would ever be returned, please either let it be used in the alliance for capital ships or split between all the great people that have been helping me out here. Or just donate it all to Test_Free so we newbros can keep doing what we seem to do best – explode!

That’s all I can think of writing right now. Back to the studies with me! Stay safe out there! o/

So, to sum up, it is foolhearty to screw over a newbie in Test. There is now over a billion isk worth of bounty on Myravingian.

Bagehi

P.S. Myravingian, you are KOS to me.

UPDATE:

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178 Comments

  1. new players

    Wait don't goons / test routinely screw new players?

    The internet is full of stories from people who tried to join only to be asked for some sort of entry fee and then trolled as soon as they pay.

    Or people who do join and then get all their shit stolen by the "Jump Freighter Pilot" they contracted all their stuff to.

    May 8, 2012 at 6:26 am Reply
    1. hurr

      Test and goons actively scam, it's one of the easier ways our newbros can make money. That doesn't mean we scam each other. There are very few ways to get kicked out of test, fucking with our newbros is one of them.

      May 8, 2012 at 7:18 am Reply
    2. Old players

      People do get scammed out of isk and assets if they're stupid, but its never newbies. Newbies simply are not interesting to scam as they've 0 isk or assets.

      May 8, 2012 at 7:24 am Reply
    3. T Nips

      Confirming recruitment scams. I made a new member pay me 10 isk.

      Am I doing it right?

      May 8, 2012 at 2:53 pm Reply
    4. No one important

      New players, yes.
      New alliance-mates, no.

      They know where their bread is buttered.

      May 10, 2012 at 7:31 am Reply
  2. Dont TEST Me

    You have to give test/goons credit they really do look after there own they even formed a 500man fleet to look after their pets Pandemic Legion the other night for 120 -A- were coming to kill them.

    May 8, 2012 at 6:35 am Reply
  3. Lugalbandak

    damn 10 bil loot.. im drooling here

    May 8, 2012 at 6:56 am Reply
    1. Xolve

      it was actually about 2b in loot… the cunt lied his face off to be space important while chestbeating..

      May 8, 2012 at 9:23 am Reply
  4. Myravingian

    IM FAMOUS MAW!!!

    May 8, 2012 at 7:37 am Reply
  5. fuck goons

    TEST AND GOONS ARE KNOWN FOR FOLLOWING A DRUNKEN RETARD NERD WHO IS A INTERNET BULLY, YOU ARE KNOWN FOR SCAMMING NEW AND OLD PLAYERS, YOU ARE KNOWN FOR BEING NICE TO NEW PLAYERS THAT JOIN YOU, YOU ARE KNOWN FOR SPAMMING UP LOCAL AND FORUMS WITH CRAP, YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT KNOWN FOR GOOD REPUTATION OF LEADERS, FCS, TACTICS, BALLS, OR ANY OTHER MEASURE OF THE GAME.

    May 8, 2012 at 7:48 am Reply
    1. TestGruntBestGrunt

      oseven emeight.

      May 8, 2012 at 12:23 pm Reply
    2. chef

      o7o7o7o7o7m8m8m8m8
      Okay… and you are known for sperging out, spamming comments, typing in caps like you have down syndrome and accidentally pressed caps lock, being completely misinformed about everything and achieving nothing of note in your life. Also I have it on good authority that your natural body odor is similar to that of lady scarlet's asscrack after a month-long regiment of Taco Bell and cow dung (basically the same thing…)

      May 8, 2012 at 12:54 pm Reply
    3. masterochi

      Nothing says "I R Asshat" like all caps.

      You have proved yourself an idiot.

      May 9, 2012 at 2:28 am Reply
  6. Boogie_Jones

    "Boogie Jones, always one to gleefully shoot blues," – Not empty quoting.

    "Also, if any of the officer loot would ever be returned, please either let it be used in the alliance for capital ships or split between all the great people that have been helping me out here. Or just donate it all to Test_Free so we newbros can keep doing what we seem to do best – explode!"

    I'll make this simple. He gets it.

    Yo, 1000 kills in the last year w/ 45mil minimum skillpoint requirement cunts, we got a lot more of these than you do. Sup?

    May 8, 2012 at 7:52 am Reply
  7. fuck goons

    DurrHurrDurr eventually chimed in with:

    Newbie gets 100% of the drop. He can distribute it amongst the other people involved as he chooses, as long as the cut Myravingian receives is 0%.

    I AM THE LAW

    THIS BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE <3 dhd

    May 8, 2012 at 7:53 am Reply
  8. Trigona

    I remember being in Shiva and while salvaging I spotted an officer spawn in W6VP-Y There were only blues in local so I informed everyone about what I found and the maggot called Mad Kiwi, a member of Hirr, flew in, got the spawn and gave me nothing. It's something you never forget.

    May 8, 2012 at 8:03 am Reply
  9. #lovefromfountain

    Props to looking after the newborn ! Even though a lot of you are bunch of idiots …

    May 8, 2012 at 8:06 am Reply
  10. Trash

    "one of the tengus began angling for Baron’s wreck,"

    Yep, looking after your new guy right there.

    May 8, 2012 at 8:39 am Reply
  11. Devore

    He deserves to be KOS with a name like Myravingian. I mean, wtf.

    May 8, 2012 at 9:19 am Reply
  12. easy

    "There is now over a billion isk worth of bounty on Myravingian."

    Wait you love this guy as much that give him over a billion of isk for free?

    You are really terrible at this game… Do you really know how this crappy bounty system works?

    May 8, 2012 at 9:25 am Reply
    1. Bounty as in "Kill the fucker and I pay you" – not the ingame bounty system.

      May 8, 2012 at 11:13 am Reply
      1. bagehi

        The in game bounty system sucks balls. Most people have come up with simple ways around it that can't be exploited. Besides, most people would rather the guy die in a shiny ship than see him podded.

        May 8, 2012 at 1:01 pm Reply
        1. David_Star

          I hope you guys can bring us the story of his epic death when he finally tries to flee from that station he is camped into (submit that info testies!).

          Or better yet, he pays a ransom to get out, then they blow him up anyway :)

          May 8, 2012 at 2:26 pm Reply
      2. easy

        Ahh ok, then it's only another test scam… Thx for the clarification

        May 9, 2012 at 8:31 am Reply
  13. Nobody

    This would have been a lot more badass if there was a picture of myravingian's frozen corpse included.

    May 8, 2012 at 10:12 am Reply
  14. Irreligious

    So let me get this right. . . it is considered news when the members of test alliance do something honorable? Is it news worthy because it never happens or is it newsworthy because there is a recruitment campaign going on. My guess is both.

    May 8, 2012 at 10:32 am Reply
  15. Say what?

    I am shocked test would be this ….nice….goes to show you really don't know a mafuka untill you really know a mafuka…knaw meeen.

    May 8, 2012 at 11:56 am Reply
  16. Kronarn

    I take my hat off to Test for this one, nice to see that good still happens in EVE, it rarely makes the news!

    gg

    May 8, 2012 at 12:07 pm Reply
  17. Terrorfrodo

    I'm not surprised at all. EVE is a tribal society. Do good unto the members of your own tribe, murder and rape all outsiders and take all they have. This is how it's supposed to be.

    May 8, 2012 at 12:34 pm Reply
  18. Aonus

    I may not be part of Test but its respectful to see folks defend newbies this way. I myself take in newbies, theres no fucking reason to be a dick towards them. alot of newbies dont get shown any love in this game due to the elitist attitude most players in Eve have.

    All i have to say is, The Myrdgfravdfag whatever the fuck his name is. Deserves to be shot, podded, and followed into highsec and camped with suicide fleets. Long Termed players have many ways to make isk which newbies cant. give the fucking newbie a break, he finds something worth 10 billion isk and u take his shit and spit in his face? not even 1 bill to give him for the 10 u just made? might wanna learn some courtesy or u and ur stuff is going to stay in that station for a long long time…. Be happy myr ur not in my corp.. id camp u myself. trust me, u wouldnt get far.

    EDIT: one of the newbies i had taken in, was learning how to probe 2 days ago using our links and guides when he found his first site. he asked for help cuz he didnt know what it was so i went to the site and tanked it for him, the site dropped a 200mill module, i told everyone to leave it be as the newbie was the one who found the site. he had just made his first 200mill. the excitement for a newbie to be that happy on his first week in Eve out of a trial was prolly the most lol-ful thing weve seen in a while. for longterm players 200mill is a 2 hour job. for a newbie.. months.

    May 8, 2012 at 12:35 pm Reply
    1. masterochi

      You, sir, are a class act.

      Cheers!

      Master Ochi

      May 9, 2012 at 2:33 am Reply
    2. No one important

      Happy newbies = more people joining EVE = more targets for everyone = happiness

      May 10, 2012 at 7:30 am Reply
  19. Kamasutra

    What a dickhead this guy, the bare minimum is to share with the guy that found the rare NPC, now he will be hunted all over the fucking galaxy and wont enjoy hes 10 bil and nobody would recruit him, well done hope it was worth it, he revealed hes ugly nature for cheap change while hurting an alliance mate and newbie its a no-no, also all you butt hurt spergpublords wining about CFC/TEST/GOONS fuck you all

    May 8, 2012 at 1:21 pm Reply
  20. Test Drama

    Myravingian is the real winner here, plus the Bill bounty he'll collect on his pod, Test Drama still best Drama.

    May 8, 2012 at 3:58 pm Reply
    1. ViperRum

      Yep, head to a nice quiet low sec system, get in your pod. Warp to the sun. Warp a throw away alt to the sun. Shoot pod. Collect 1 billion isk. Transfer isk to whatever character you want. Biomass the throw away alt.

      Bounties are dumb in this game.

      May 8, 2012 at 6:06 pm Reply
      1. poulpe

        That's why the bounty was issued out of game.

        May 8, 2012 at 9:42 pm Reply
    2. bagehi

      First, you can't put an in-game bounty on a hardcore ratter, they have +5 sec status. Second, no one with half a brain uses the in-game bounty system.

      May 8, 2012 at 10:09 pm Reply
  21. disgruntled testie

    Don't go thinking this situation encapsulates the mindset of TEST. The bulk of the alliance may act this way towards newbros, but its leadership are total dicks their bitter vets and are pushing them out the door in droves.

    Why isn't TEST's cap fleet worth a damn? Leadership drove everyone out – nobody is allowed in and nothing is reimbursable until you get every remotely-related skill trained to their satisfaction, even shit that is useless/not used. When they got help in the form of experienced, cap-heavy corps, Dovinian felt threatened and did everything in his power to keep them from fleeting up (and it worked).

    Why is participation down? Nobody likes welping shit fleet after fleet. They can't win, so the alliance laughs off the losses and self-deprecatingly declares their horribleness at Eve. Why did Dingo – the only active fc who was worth a damn – leave? Leadership couldn't figure out how to manage him, so they threw up their hands and pushed him out.

    It all boils down to that – TEST grunts may love newbros for all the right reasons, but leadership loves them because they don't know shit about the game and therefore can't question anything. The biggest threat to them are people who know enough to say "um….no."

    So TEST is left scrambling, looking to Goons and now PL to lead because they keep shooting themselves in the vagina. The average testie is, as shown above, not the worst person in the world and pretty cool to fly with. For experienced Eve players, however, TEST as an alliance is still everything you imagine it would be and worse. Montolio is either in denail or just plain ignorant of what's going on, and only time will tell of the result.

    May 8, 2012 at 5:26 pm Reply
  22. War Observer

    Actual reason everyone is aiming at that Myravingian douche is that they are hoping of killing him when he takes that fat loot to market, and garbing whatever drops for themselves, nobody with a brain believes Test or Goons would care about new players 😛

    May 8, 2012 at 7:37 pm Reply
    1. Urziel99

      Just like no one thinks you know jack shit of what you speak.

      May 9, 2012 at 3:24 pm Reply
    2. Better War Observer

      You're kind of full of shit.

      May 10, 2012 at 4:23 am Reply
    3. No one important

      Obvious troll is obvious.

      May 10, 2012 at 7:29 am Reply
  23. Illuminatus

    He'll find a way out. He'll just has to wait until they get bored. The moment people aren't paying attention he'll sneak out and laugh with the great loot he's got and the anger and tears that he received.

    May 9, 2012 at 7:52 pm Reply
  24. Myravingian

    HAHAHAHAHAHA TEST!!!! I WON!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

    May 11, 2012 at 2:17 am Reply
    1. Daneirkus

      You're a giant faggot.

      May 13, 2012 at 6:38 am Reply
  25. Testie

    Lets clear the air here once and for all…. ya right! From my inside view TEST is "Do what you want when you want". People thinking Test is all about screwing people are right on one hand but wrong on the other. Each corp in TEST lives by their own rules while adhering to minimal alliance rules. If a particular corp wishes to run recruitment scams or other morally questionable actions then that is their prerogative. Dreddit, the largest corp in TEST does not allow alliance scams and is the driving force behind the "Newbro Love" movement in TEST. In the alliance information which is readily available to anyone who wishes to take the time to click a link:

    "If someone tells you it costs money to get in, you are being scammed and you deserve it for not reading this.

    All official Test Alliance Please Ignore sites are under the pleaseignore.com domain. Any other address is probably a scam.

    If someone who is not listed above is saying it will cost ISK to set standings or offers to rent you space, you are also being scammed.

    No we will not return your money if you were scammed unless you are one of our blues, sorry."

    Now, if you are butthurt because you were scammed by someone in TEST who got you to pay to join, rent space, screw their mother, etc. you are an idiot who's due diligence does not encompass clicking a link and reading a few sentences. You deserve what is coming to you. This coming from someone who has never scammed and will never scam.

    If you are not blue to TEST we don't give a shit about you and for some in the alliance their mission is to annoy you in any way possible. More times than not this even encompasses blues as well. Hence the endless shitting up of local. Again, coming from someone who doesn't shit up local but it doesn't take a genius to figure this shit out nor does it take a genius to whine and bitch in every forum about things they know nothing about.

    May 11, 2012 at 2:30 pm Reply
  26. Testie

    Lets clear the air here once and for all…. ya right! From my inside view TEST is "Do what you want when you want". People thinking Test is all about screwing people are right on one hand but wrong on the other. Each corp in TEST lives by their own rules while adhering to minimal alliance rules. If a particular corp wishes to run recruitment scams or other morally questionable actions then that is their prerogative. Dreddit, the largest corp in TEST does not allow alliance scams and is the driving force behind the "Newbro Love" movement in TEST. In the alliance information which is readily available to anyone who wishes to take the time to click a link:

    May 11, 2012 at 5:14 pm Reply
  27. Myravingian

    For anyone interested, the contract is up in jita now for the mods i got kicked outa test for, hopefully some crazy titan pilot from one of their rivals can buy them and show em what they missed out on.

    May 15, 2012 at 4:47 am Reply
  28. Tallian

    Thank you. I have been running a corp ship replacement scheme for newbie PVPers(not just newbies, but people new to PVP in any way) out of my own pocket for a while now, and my corp has recently made it official and footed the bill(which includes all the stuff I did previously) and I know I am far from the only one who does this kind of thing.

    May 7, 2012 at 11:48 pm Reply
  29. duuuuude

    It's not the free ship. That's fine. But they literally don't teach them anything about how to not be a terrible F1 pubbie like the rest of the DekCo.

    "LOLOLOL here's your rifter just go tackle stuff and die"

    May 8, 2012 at 2:00 am Reply
  30. Yawn

    Hypocrisy at it's finest.

    May 8, 2012 at 5:27 am Reply

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