A DotBros Pwnership Experience in Cloud Ring

After a devastating reset by their cruel and unholy masters, the heroes of Black-Mark Alliance thought the jig was up. Facing insurmountable odds from a brutal unforgiving vengeful overlord, they did not think anyone would support them in their goal of “killing all their cynos.” Previously, top tier pet -FA- had rallied other co-conspirators and enacted a policy of retribution on the poor local politicians of Black-Mark. Stations, ihubs, and even POCOs had been reinforced by the combined forces of Goondom. It seemed like people’s alliance of Black-Mark would be smited like a blue buff from space with nothing but a hiccup of resistance.

Riding high on videos of Kate Upton doing the cat daddy dance, non-coward TZ DotBros were looking for something to do on this fateful evening. While playing games of League of Legends, we heard about Goondom top tier pets -FA- forming max mael minimal huginn gang and shooting structures. They were supposed to reform later but instead they cowarded out. I suppose this is better than their ‘lets shoot at structures with drakes’ gang that occured on the previous evening. Goondom citizens had no trouble shooting the multiple stations and other sov-related things apparently ignorant people feel this brings ‘content’ to their game. Now, we weren’t about to take the coward way out and surrender our LoL game so we waited.

Unfortunately and truly to our dismay, the top tier -FA- pets decided at our prime op time it was a good time to head home and dock it up. Instead, they let former BoB turned Goon Pets (EXE) take over.

The King in the North (Elo Knight) said We were direwolves among sheep and it was time for a slaughter. Our ‘W’ was maxed right away so we would hit their shield caps first and damage nearby dreads. Rock solid.

Like hungry wolves, we waited. Awestruck, our cyno pilot watched the Executive Outcomes and LAWN capital fleet as they attempted to deploy Sarin gas on the Black-Mark ihub akin to how Saddam Hussein used chemical weapons on the Kurdish town of Halabja in 1988. He was later hanged for this war crime. One could say they were caught between a rock and hard place.

Spurred on by the words of Kate Upton that we should “OK… Go.”, we dropped it like it was hot. Here is the result and the .gif that defines the prevaling attitude of the pilots involved.

Damage done (ISK): 27.61B – 27605.46M
Damage received (ISK): 0B – 0M

Eve-Kill Battle Summary

As an obligatory statement about the event, it should be noted that EVOL got their revenge on EXE for leaving them when the going got tough. Also, LadyScarlet’s tengu had so much mass that it got dragged into a bubble on the way home.

– Atticus

[spoiler show=”Did we mess up?”]
We want to give you guys the best possible intel, to post as fast as we can confirm it, but Eve being :Eve: is quite confusing. If we messed up with our intel, please contact us directly [email protected], provide the proof of it and we’ll correct it immediately noting the change and bringing the correction on top of the article list.[/spoiler]

If you would like to send intel or contribute, feel free to use the form below:

[spoiler show=”Submit Intel Here”]

[/spoiler]

51 Comments

  1. FERDINAND

    NICE DANCING BLOND DUMB GIRL

    May 7, 2012 at 12:54 pm Reply
    1. ViperRum

      The only worthy part of the post, IMO.

      May 8, 2012 at 7:06 pm Reply
  2. Sauce? never mind i got this!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ik-vkgCj3bM&

    May 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm Reply
    1. lol

      http://eve-kill.net/?a=kill_related&adjacent&… riverni we also accidently the whole FA dread fleet, please post an article about this.

      May 7, 2012 at 2:47 pm Reply
      1. Tallian

        I heard it was epically fun.

        So sad I lost my carrier earlier in the day, I couldn't join in on the welp :(

        May 7, 2012 at 4:23 pm Reply
  3. I can hear it now

    I dont care what it takes get it done, or else…. These the next 2 reset victims?

    May 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm Reply
    1. Tallian

      RESET TEST!

      ohwait….

      May 7, 2012 at 4:24 pm Reply
  4. all of eve

    GOONS ONLINE WHO GIVES A FOOK!

    May 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm Reply
  5. ANGRYNECKBEARD

    Wow, someone who writes worse than Riverini. In fact, I'd dare say you almost make him look good. Truly, that is an impressive feat.

    Seriously, this battle report reads like a 16 year olds shitty attempt to make his video game seem all edgy and crap. Just stick to the fucking facts and what happened.

    May 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm Reply
    1. Dental Floss

      wololololololololol

      May 7, 2012 at 4:09 pm Reply
  6. LOL.

    Where are ur supers elite pvp? pussies

    May 7, 2012 at 2:44 pm Reply
    1. lol
      May 7, 2012 at 2:46 pm Reply
      1. hurr

        Damn those goonie blobbers amirite?

        May 9, 2012 at 10:52 am Reply
  7. Carlos

    Excutive outcomes have been executed :'(

    May 7, 2012 at 3:37 pm Reply
  8. IA GUY

    nice piece of revenge

    May 7, 2012 at 4:11 pm Reply
  9. yayforbadarticles

    what the fuck are "top tier pets -FA-"? Since when have fatal ascension been "top tier"?

    May 7, 2012 at 4:26 pm Reply
    1. some goon

      Since when have FA been pets? Last I checked they were what we would call an ally.

      May 7, 2012 at 8:17 pm Reply
      1. hirrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

        Dont kid yourself there pets.

        May 7, 2012 at 8:39 pm Reply
        1. some goon

          Have their own space, their own moons, and don't pay rent. Yeah, they're totally on a collar.

          May 7, 2012 at 10:11 pm Reply
          1. Poastin Toaster

            stop kidding yourself. everyone in DekCo, except goons, are fucking pets. you do what you are told when you are told. if you had a back bone, like black mark did, you would be kicked out.

            true story.

            May 7, 2012 at 11:13 pm
          2. FAgrunt

            Without mittens (goons), FA (and most of the pet) would lose their sov in weeks. So yes they are pets.

            May 7, 2012 at 11:18 pm
          3. Guest

            Black mark thought they were equals too

            May 8, 2012 at 1:41 am
          4. FAgrunt

            lololol we saw how that worked out. bob slurped up the turf

            May 8, 2012 at 2:25 am
          5. gofigure

            Isn't that the same situation Black Legion is in? if they don't do as NCDOT says it'll be hit the road jack.

            May 8, 2012 at 1:42 am
          6. Guest

            Difference is Black Legion can stand on its own. They just add a great mix together in the UStz to counter the blob of Dekco

            May 8, 2012 at 3:13 am
          7. Beit

            This is true, it's been months since NCDOT won a fight that wasn't lead by BL.

            May 8, 2012 at 5:48 am
          8. bl.

            NC. doesn't tell us to do shit. We work well together so we stick together. Feel free to discuss the matter with us face to face in K3JR-J.

            May 8, 2012 at 12:56 pm
          9. Nestea

            you must be new, carry on.

            May 8, 2012 at 2:24 pm
          10. Mr_Gr3y

            That's odd, especially because a goon has never told me to do anything before.

            May 8, 2012 at 3:04 am
          11. A dyslexic X MLB

            Poastin is right. FA like the rest are pets of Goons. We got the notice to vacate CR or face the Coalition! This where the same people we fleeted with! What hurt Black-Mark the most was the Betrayal of cooperation's leaving for the backstabbing FA.

            As for the other DekCo alliances you might be next. I just hope you so called Allies come to your aid in defense like you did not do for BLM when shit hit the fan!

            May 8, 2012 at 1:18 pm
      2. Lee

        FA has been a pet ever since thier alliance CEO was installed by GSF.

        May 8, 2012 at 2:21 pm Reply
  10. Xolve

    Killing 10 Non-Super Captials is newsworthy?

    May 7, 2012 at 5:28 pm Reply
  11. anon e. mouse

    Wow man.. BlackCo (The Black Coalition) is really crying out to be relevant. Or is it just a slow news day?

    May 7, 2012 at 5:33 pm Reply
  12. Wildcat84

    Could someone rewrite this story in English?

    May 7, 2012 at 5:46 pm Reply
  13. Gunny

    fatal ascension Top Tier lmao, thanx for giving me best laugh of the day. +1

    May 7, 2012 at 6:03 pm Reply
    1. Poastin Toaster

      i agree, they are more like 5th tier pets.

      May 7, 2012 at 11:14 pm Reply
  14. guest

    Oh man ten capitals killed better tell rivi heard he is desperate for stories

    May 7, 2012 at 6:51 pm Reply
  15. Qwerty4812

    um NCDot… do you need to lose another 3 titans until you shut up with the shit posts?

    May 7, 2012 at 7:55 pm Reply
    1. Poastin Toaster

      umm dekco faggot. its black legion. learn to read.

      May 7, 2012 at 11:14 pm Reply
    2. Nestea

      Your an awful reader.

      May 8, 2012 at 2:25 pm Reply
  16. Marcus_McTavish

    Its so unprofessionally written… but START A DAMN BLOG!!!! I loved reading this, even if it was not shitting all over the "top-tier-pets".

    May 7, 2012 at 8:27 pm Reply
  17. Random Miner

    and I thought I was gonna have to look up the video… god bless you

    May 7, 2012 at 8:48 pm Reply
  18. Themick

    Came for the report, stayed for the gif…Atticus knows how to get the readers…

    May 7, 2012 at 10:06 pm Reply
  19. FAgrunt

    Came for an Attitcus BR. Delivered. Ps bob (exe) got what they deserved.

    May 7, 2012 at 11:06 pm Reply
  20. Lykouleon

    LadyScarlet fat jokes never get old.

    May 7, 2012 at 11:30 pm Reply
  21. Pointofview

    So lemme get this straight… Black legion, who i once had alot of respect for due to there pvp prowess and small man engagement tactics (not to mention never blue anyone attitude) sold out to nc. and now licking there taint and have the ball sack to be naming people pets… How truely comical this game is XD

    Ive personally seen Black Legion attack successfully every large coaltion and alliance in eve and now there buddy buddy with nc dot…. Do us all a favor and wipe your chin before undocking its embarassing 😛

    May 8, 2012 at 1:31 am Reply
    1. Guest

      U Mad?

      May 8, 2012 at 1:40 am Reply
    2. Addrake

      lol keep em coming :) With kugu down this is the only way I can capture enough tears to distill into the elixir Elo needs to survive.

      Must.
      Harvest.
      Moar.

      May 8, 2012 at 1:47 am Reply
    3. hemad

      bitter much?

      May 8, 2012 at 1:53 am Reply
    4. Baddies being Bad

      What POV meant to say was "I LIKE BRACK REGION MORE WHEN IM NOT BEING BLAPPED IN THEIR VIDEOS"

      May 8, 2012 at 3:33 am Reply
  22. lol

    all this crap about black legion, nc. goons who cares i want more of the blonde!!!

    May 8, 2012 at 2:16 pm Reply

Leave a Reply to Random Miner Click here to cancel reply.