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On the heels of her Goodwill Am”badass”ador tour, Sindel is back.  Her campaign?  To convince Razer to make Eve Online Special Edition gear.  Her blog can be found here.

An Open Letter to Razer

All right, y’all, I know it’s been awhile since you’ve seen anything from me.  That will be changing soon, I promise.  I think I just got a little overwhelmed with everything: CSM Elections, Fanfest, Mittani-gate.  There are some things I’d like to say about all three of those things– I’d also like to announce my in-game plans for the near future– but that is for another time.

Today, I want to cause a little trouble.

Not “trouble” in the “Oh, fuck, Sindel’s gonna talk about people who blew up her Cheetah in hopes someone will go all locator-agent and pod their ass” sense.  We’ve all seen what happens when someone goads others into doing their dirty work.

Ha.

No, today’s “trouble” is more of an “Avon calling!” to my dear, sweet friends at Razer.  I’m not being sarcastic when I say that, either; I genuinely love their products. Hell, their Megalodon headset is resting comfortably on my cranium as I type.  Every time I go to Best Buy, I have to be escorted out by security who are none-too-fond of me licking Razer keyboards and mice, but you know what?  It’s worth a little public humiliation to get my saliva on those things because they’re FUCKING. SEXY. And, truth be told, I kinda like licking things.

. . .

*cough*

Sooooooooooooooo, back to Razer.  For those of you who don’t care about such things as gaming headsets, keyboards and laptops . . . oh, who the fuck am I kidding??!?!  You wouldn’t be playing Eve Online if you weren’t all super tech-geeks.

Don’t look at me like that.  You know it’s true.

I’ll rephrase, though.  For those of you who are rocking Logitech, Turtle Beach, SteelSeries or Saitek accessories and thinking you’re the shit, you’re wrong.  Razer was founded over a decade ago by dedicated gamers who thought the market needed to be dominated by dedicated gamers, not marketing people and regular engineers.  I agree.  Their products are purdy, high-quality and have passed my three-point structural-integrity test (which, loosely translated, means I gave my Razer stuff to each of my three kids and watched them NOT break it.  Win.)

But enough love for them.  I’m not going to write about how wonderful they are and how I can’t live without them and how I’d looooooooooooooooooooove a new Black Widow Ultimate Stealth keyboard for my birthday.  Nope.  No more love for you, Razer.

Neener.  Neener.

Instead, with these lovely readers as my witnesses, I’d like to address you personally and express my distaste at your blatant oversight of my universe and the shameless favoritism I see of other games on your website and in your product line.

This will not stand.

If you know anything about our game, you know that it is one of the most complex, active and enthralling gaming worlds EVER. MADE.

Fun!

It is vast and beautiful, breathtaking and terrifying all rolled into one giant freaking pile of pixels and ever-present explosions.

Anher

Anher

The art of the game is insanely good . . . and it’s not even the best part.

Cloud Ring

 

That would be us.

Sindel Pellion

The Capsuleers.  We are diverse, passionate and 300,000 strong.  Between space above and the planets below, we are a force to be reckoned with– most definitely worth watching.  And, mark my words, the world will watch; for you see, dear Razer, we’re about to make history.

. . .

So will one of you fools please explain to me why you have licensed PC gaming equipment for vastly inferior and disappointing games?  Where the fuck is MY Eve Online keyboard?  MY Eve Online mousepad?  Why is there no Eve skin for MY mouse when there’s one of these:

WTF? Battlefield 3?!?!

And, for fuck’s sake, one of these:

BUMBLEBEE?!?!?! Really, Razer?

Starcraft.  DragonAge.  SWTOR.  ME3.  League of MOTHERFUCKINGLEGENDS but no Eve Online?!?!?!?  Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?!?  It’s a slight to our community, CCP Games, Sony Computer Entertainment and anyone who knows anything about Eve and the amazing roller coaster ride they’ve provided their subscribers for the last nine years.

Shame on you, Razer.  Shame. shame.

Now, I’m sure you’ve got some lame reasonable defense for your lack of Eve products.  “We tried to talk to them.”  “They weren’t interested.”  “It didn’t seem like a good idea at the time.”  “It’s not you, it’s me.”

. . .

Nothing a girl like me hasn’t heard before, guys.

;)

I don’t buy it.  As a matter of fact, when I tweeted about it, CCP_Manifest said they have talked to you in the past and nothing has come of it.  So guess what?  We’re going to try again.  They want to talk to you.  They are interested.  It’s a good idea now. And if you don’t pounce on this before Dust 514 launches, we will all know that it is indeed you, and not CCP.  They’re very approachable.  Trust me.  You can walk right up and lick their faces and they don’t even care!

So here’s where we go from here.  This isn’t just some mindless rant where a lame-ass bitch whines about something ridiculous but does nothing to see it through.  This is a pledge from me, Sindel Pellion, to you, Razer.  I will write to you every single day until either 1) you have some law enforcement agency tell me to stop or 2) I see Eve Online products like this appear on your website.  You decide.  Capsuleers have taken a beautifully rendered, blank slate of a universe and turned it into a thriving playground of murder, intrigue, propaganda, espionage and all-out chaos.  We deserve this, at the very least.  Don’t believe me?  You don’t have to respond, of course.  You don’t know me.  I don’t matter.  But trust me– this is a good idea.

Surely, this is a business venture that warrants exploration?  If anything, just to shut me up?

I await your reply with bated breath and, in the meantime, I’m going to get on comms with my lovely Razer Megalodon headset and shoot the fuck out of people in the most fantastic game I’ve ever had the privilege of playing.  Until we meet . . .

Love,

Sin

EDITOR’S NOTE: If you also want Razer to make some Eve gear, please join the cause.  Bloggers who come up with good arguments or good ideas for Razer gear can link their blog posts to Sindel, and we may feature some of your posts here to try to get Razer’s attention.  If you don’t feel like writing a blog post, please tweet your request or links to Razer and Razer’s CEO.

42 Comments

  1. roboto212

    I have the best argument why they should do this. I own razor products ie. Keyboard mouse mouse pad and head set. I would give them to my wife and buy all over again if there was an eve version. There the best products on the market and eve versions would be more win and more purchases.

    April 11, 2012 at 6:27 pm Reply
  2. Does this count as EvE related Razer gear? http://store.razerzone.com/store/razerusa/en_US/p… lol

    Also an EvE version of that Star Wars keyboard would be pretty amazing …. I'd dump my G15 for it

    April 11, 2012 at 6:30 pm Reply
    1. que "EvE has sounds?" jokes …

      April 11, 2012 at 6:31 pm Reply
  3. ilikeponies

    someone's slighty madbro……………

    April 11, 2012 at 6:31 pm Reply
  4. shari

    a special edition of a razer/naga, are you serious? i don't know what you do with your mouse, but mine is covered by my hand so i do not see and do not care what's on it… Also, compared to League of Legends Eve is a gaming-dwarf. 350.000 players vs. 30.000.000 or maybe 40.000.000 players?..nevermind.

    April 11, 2012 at 6:34 pm Reply
    1. I used to design peripherals for a living, the chinese allow u to make a 5,000 entry stock for testing purposes.

      April 11, 2012 at 6:54 pm Reply
      1. >implying

        sure you did…

        April 11, 2012 at 7:00 pm Reply
      2. Amazaral

        not to mention the fact that most of these products are merely skinned versions of their regular product-line which means near to nil tooling costs etc. shouldnt need a whole lot of sales to make a profit off this idea.

        April 12, 2012 at 12:34 pm Reply
  5. Akrasjel Lanate

    What?

    April 11, 2012 at 6:36 pm Reply
  6. mememe

    Was looking forward to using that swtor kb with eve. Does anyone know if it ever shipped? I love pc games, but pc gaming peripherals are notorious, i can handle the high, niche pricetag but the quality issues have bit me so often.

    April 11, 2012 at 6:40 pm Reply
  7. Derp

    Thanks Sindel. Now will the Logitech rep stand up and give their stump speech.

    April 11, 2012 at 6:45 pm Reply
    1. bagehi

      That's the thing. Logitech is a Fan Fest sponsor. Other than slapping their logo on some of the promo stuff for Fan Fest, they don't really do anything for Eve. I didn't see any reps there. I don't remember them even doing a presentation at the sponsor's present thing. They don't need to stump. They already are in. They just don't seem to give a sh.

      April 11, 2012 at 7:02 pm Reply
  8. Fuckin with CFC

    Having purchased RAZER items that were broken out of the box or that broke shortly thereafter and they made getting service impossible, they can kiss my hairy white ass. I don't care how many Eve graphics they put on their products. I'm sticking with my trusty Logitech G700 that has never failed.

    April 11, 2012 at 6:47 pm Reply
    1. asf

      My G5 is still going strong to.

      April 11, 2012 at 6:50 pm Reply
      1. Fuckin with CFC

        Logitech FTW. All around the best mice on the market IMO.

        April 11, 2012 at 7:18 pm Reply
        1. logitechforlogis

          G500 with full weight set still working smooth.

          April 12, 2012 at 11:11 am Reply
    2. Cynic

      Currently still using an over 10 y/o Dell Quiet Key. It is anything but quiet as far as keyboards go, and while i hate Dell in general, this keyboard has gone the distance.

      That being said, this is neither news nor important, but i did enjoy the attention whoring.

      April 11, 2012 at 7:27 pm Reply
    3. bagehi

      I've actually had the opposite experience. Used to buy Logitech, but they would break in strange ways. Started buying Razer and haven't had any trouble since then. I have heard that the Razer console controllers are crap, so I wonder if it was just a case of buying stuff from brand new product lines.

      April 11, 2012 at 7:31 pm Reply
  9. Waste of time

    So after realizing that the average eve player runs about 4 accounts, they will realize there is a market of maybe 100,000. Lost cause. Move on.

    April 11, 2012 at 6:54 pm Reply
  10. PCP_Bananaman

    put some little white dots on your Razer toys and pretend it's a space visage.

    I'll continue using logitech implements because they are more functional, better engineered and allow far greater range in customisation of ACTUAL DOIN STUFF rather than variety of couloured lights and gimmicks.

    April 11, 2012 at 7:00 pm Reply
  11. getthisshitout

    wow…she managed to attention whore and try to sell me some overpriced shit in the same bullshit article.

    what the hell is this shit?

    April 11, 2012 at 7:20 pm Reply
  12. Used to like Razer

    I used to like Razor, but the quality of their products has seriously sucked for a very long time now. Mouse buttons crapping out, bad quality cords and just plain shit keyboards. No amount of tie in bullshit will ever get me to buy any product, let alone one I consider inferior.

    Steelseries on the other hand has a spectacular product line. They are what Razer used to be.

    April 11, 2012 at 7:50 pm Reply
  13. shaderp

    who even is this sindel pallion? sorry had to look like name up again and i still dont remember it

    April 11, 2012 at 8:07 pm Reply
  14. RazerIsShit

    If you want quality stuff forget Razer and go for Roccat.

    April 11, 2012 at 8:12 pm Reply
  15. Derp

    Can't wait till Razor and Logitech reps start spamming Jita local.

    April 11, 2012 at 8:17 pm Reply
  16. Geeble

    Used to be a Razer fanboy cos the stuff looks the mutts, but everything (headset, keyboard, mouse) has broken through normal use, and the drivers for their own soundcard were either flakey or just didn't work. Logitech are just as good and MUCH cheaper. Oh and I couldn't give a toss about branded shit… I'm looking at the screen.

    April 11, 2012 at 8:39 pm Reply
  17. Troll father

    A "Bitch in Heat" is a terrible thing to waste…

    April 11, 2012 at 8:50 pm Reply
    1. u srs?

      HUR I LEIK TO LICK THINGS HUR HUR LOOK AT ME DO YOU NOTICE ME SEXUALLY!? PLEASE?!

      April 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm Reply
  18. guest

    gigaware (radioshack generic brand) usb headset 10 dollars, buy one a year, sound quality is awesome, i have all sorts of guys (and a few eve women) telling me how sexy my voice is……dudes stop im only gay on fridays.

    April 11, 2012 at 9:44 pm Reply
  19. CareBearStares

    Razor should do this.. Dust 514, free to play and download, mouse and keyboard compatable… they'd be morons if they didn't jump on that like Tonto.

    April 11, 2012 at 10:17 pm Reply
  20. The Observer

    YES! MOTHER OF GOD, YES! Then again, i'd have to spend more money getting the Lycosa EVE Online edition and the EVE Online edition of the naga or the death adder.

    April 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm Reply
  21. BillyBob

    Seriously, whoever designed Razor's website needs to be shot in the face.

    April 11, 2012 at 11:07 pm Reply
  22. Lolwat

    WTF is this shit doing on EN24 ? I WANT PEWPEW NEWS !!!11!1!1!eleven

    April 11, 2012 at 11:22 pm Reply
  23. Random Goon

    Razer mice and keyboard are descent but the headsets are absolute shit. Soz. Also who's idiot idea was it to let some sales bint do a pitch on EN24?

    April 12, 2012 at 12:26 am Reply
  24. I have a £25 mouse and a £10 keyboard. I spent my cash on my computer's internals to make my screen produce prettier images, other than shortcut keys I see no reason to listen to a lame sales pitch. A keyboard without shortcut keys is just a keyboard.

    April 12, 2012 at 3:08 am Reply
  25. nerds unite

    I got my keyboard from the local dump, its logitech, its ancient, itstill works fine.. though the batteris are held in with bluetack and a train ticket……

    April 12, 2012 at 4:25 am Reply
  26. MoAFan

    A mouse in the shape of a Dramiel would sure be cool

    April 12, 2012 at 5:44 am Reply
  27. WTFMONKEY

    agreed razer headsets are shit

    mice and keyboards are nice

    April 12, 2012 at 5:48 am Reply
  28. stoicspoon

    They make these for games that sell millions of copies shortly after release, not for niche games like Eve.

    It isn't very likely that you can get them to make an Eve-themed Razor mouse just because the game is nifty. There would have to be a business reason to do so that out-weighed the costs.

    April 12, 2012 at 6:04 am Reply
  29. Bob_the_Bitcher

    Their stuff is shit! They don't build much for Lefty's, their drivers are crap and conflicts with alot of stuff. Their support is non-existent.

    I've tried many gaming devices from many vendors…. they are def at the bottom of the pile!!

    Best Options so far… SteelSeries for mouse, Microsoft Natural 4000 for keyboards, Logitech G13 for keypads, and Logitech for headphones.

    If you are right handed, the options are a lot more… but not Razer…. they make Beautiful Crap.

    April 12, 2012 at 9:33 am Reply
  30. Paul

    I dont think many companies want to be affiliated with EVE. Furthermore this game doesnt require lots of mouse clicks (apart from the terrible menu structure). So how would an EVE mouse be marketed? Now you can click even faster thru the terrible EVE GUI. Its a must have! The author needs to get real and see what EVE really is.

    April 12, 2012 at 11:47 pm Reply
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