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Jester’s Trek: Which way would they jump?

From one of my all-time favorite bad movies, Judge Dredd:

ABC warrior: Status?
Rico: Bodyguard.
ABC warrior: Commander?
Rico: Rico.
ABC warrior: Mission?
Rico: Mission?
Rico: We’re going to war.
ABC warrior: Warrr…

Which direction would they strike?  That question has been on the minds of every Goon-watcher for months.  We all knew they were going to strike in some direction, and soon, and we had a pretty good idea that direction would be roughly eastward.  As I’ve said on this blog a few times, the Goons have attempting to clear Delve, but their hearts really haven’t been in it.  The mission down there, after all, is essentially constructive and Goons historically aren’t all that good at essentially constructive things.  Even Mittens himself has now said Delve was a “twiddling”, “half-assed” campaign.

So, we knew the Goons were eventually going to strike, and this time with a serious effort.  They seemed to be waiting for TiDi to do it.  But TiDi was coming soon.  When the Goons gave in to their normal impulses, which direction would those impulses take them?  That question is now answered.

Taking advantage of internal divisions in White Noise. and that alliance’s (rather silly) decision to reset their USTZ allies, Mittens has announced that GSF is going to be invading Branch and burning down the alliance to their northeast.  The Delve campaign is over, and Mittens flatly says as much in the SOTG.

The invasion of Branch is now in full swing:

The Goons seem to have achieved total strategic surprise… even the towers in WN. seem to be stronted for USTZs, stupidly.  Even more stupidly, there are almost 20 systems in Branch that WN has never bothered to establish sov in to prevent invaders from doing the same.  The Goons decided not to wait for TiDi because of the serious internal divisions in White Noise.  Those internal divisions almost certainly left them distracted and vulnerable.  If you’re interested in those details, listen to the whole SOTG.

In short, the Goons are going to try to burn everything down, and seem to be off to a good start.  Expect this to be a short, ugly, brutal campaign… unless WN’s former allies — particularly RaidenDOT — start intervening.  Will they?  Lovely question.  Stay tuned.

Even better question… what impact is this going to have on Goonswarm Shrugged?  Mittens also flat-out says that the Blue Ice interdiction is over.  He indicates that Goons involved were instructed to go ahead and dump their remaining Oxytope stocks a few days ago.  But will the Goons that are so enjoying griefing ice bears get that message?  There haven’t been large volumes of Oxytopes sold on the market yet and the price still seems pretty stable…

Ripard Teg

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  1. chevs

    hmmmm, so this is what "Shit Hit The Fan" looks like in real time

    December 19, 2011 at 8:19 am Reply
  2. Gumpin

    So WN. moves south. Where they used to be earlier in the year.

    December 19, 2011 at 8:21 am Reply
    1. DRF is fun

      I saygain.

      "Catch, where alliences go to shoot -A- structures and Drake fleets to loos their home systems."

      Thanks for playing WN. , PL will join you soon.

      December 19, 2011 at 9:53 am Reply
  3. Icepick

    This is what happens when you invade the north.. get very good space and tech moons and then for some stupid reason lives in the South in shitty space get internal problems and gets invaded and will probably loose everything + disbanding. Good work WN.

    December 19, 2011 at 8:54 am Reply
    1. Gumpin

      They did this earlier in the NC war.

      They invaded north. All of their Southern holdings were lost.

      Don't think they really care where they live, and if their PVP fleets are in HED-GP, that is where they will live.

      Probably suits WN.

      December 19, 2011 at 9:46 pm Reply
    2. AAA Grunt

      They where trying to take down -A-, because we had done the same to there CSAA's in the south when they where involved in the northern war. If I remember correctly we took down at least 10 suppers.

      December 19, 2011 at 9:48 pm Reply
  4. A-bitter-vet

    North is quite boring atm. The only place where real conflict is is the south. I guess this is why any northen alliance would want to be _deployed_ in the south but as soon as "Shit Hit The Fan" they would go back to defend the tech moons.
    As for goons go… I wonder how many tech moons they will end up with after this short campaign.

    December 19, 2011 at 9:22 am Reply
    1. Muhaah

      A LOT!

      December 19, 2011 at 9:38 am Reply
  5. lol

    for goons it's only "half assed" if they lose.

    can't even take NOL from evoke lmao

    December 19, 2011 at 9:33 am Reply

      Ran back to deklein with ass, mouth and ears full of nazi cum. Now going to get a nice mix of russian and euro cum in their holes from WN and friends.

      December 19, 2011 at 10:49 am Reply
      1. Imigo

        Oh no, stumbling over half the sov in Delve and miss out on one system. Such a devastating kick to Goon morale that one.

        December 19, 2011 at 11:40 am Reply
        1. lol

          Goonswarm Federation: 6944
          Ev0ke: 1130

          plus all the goonnoob pets

          got fucked by ze german

          December 19, 2011 at 12:51 pm Reply
          1. zzz

            oh hay why is everybody ignoring the broke back relationship of brick n mihi

            December 19, 2011 at 2:56 pm
        2. M_D_

          Yeah, not to mention the one time Goons got a good timer for a change and then *surprise* all comms got DDOS-ed to shit for 2 hours. Golly, who would have been behind that?

          December 19, 2011 at 12:55 pm Reply
          1. Zak Z

            wat? Goons whining about unfair tactics? INCONCEIVABLE.

            December 19, 2011 at 6:19 pm
          2. Oh Snap

            Sure, it wasn't the 2000 ppl trying to connect to one undersized Mumbleserver at the same time.

            But yeah, the magical enemy-grid-only-crashing Covop is still the bestest Goonexcuse for sucking.

            December 19, 2011 at 8:33 pm
      2. Former NC

        <img src=>

        December 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm Reply
    2. aTestie

      Evoke isn't terrible and Goons were aggressively showing vague interest in taking Delve.

      December 19, 2011 at 11:41 am Reply
      1. lol

        yea trying to take it 5 times and failing is showing vague interest lmao

        December 19, 2011 at 12:49 pm Reply
        1. Jones

          horn of gondor was never sounded for NOL. delve was for fun, this is for real.

          December 19, 2011 at 3:31 pm Reply
          1. Gumpin

            Who cares about NOL. GJ, Nice defense. How's that offensive record next to it?

            December 19, 2011 at 9:44 pm
          2. lol

            like i said. it's only half assed when you lose

            December 20, 2011 at 12:07 am
    3. WOT_owns_EVE

      If i remember correctly, Mittens said that they don't attack alliances that are held together by a common language/nationality on a whim. Evoke being almost only germans, is the perfect example. This is particularly easy to comprehend: These types are the most difficult to destroy, disband, infiltrate, whatnot.

      Goons prey on the weaker, and that's a winning strategy.

      December 19, 2011 at 1:48 pm Reply
  6. Imigo

    Don't forget that according to The Mittani (the Spymaster), WN. was trying to plan an invasion of Deklein which obviously will not stand.

    December 19, 2011 at 9:33 am Reply
  7. aTestie

    TEST has decided we want Vale of the Silent so RaidenDOT might be a bit distracted.

    December 19, 2011 at 11:18 am Reply
    1. HairyTESTicle

      LOL @ This. Better get on the batphone, because Test alone couldn't handle any decent corporation by itself, let alone Raiden.

      December 19, 2011 at 6:51 pm Reply
  8. raiden dude

    unless WN’s former allies — particularly RaidenDOT — start intervening. Will they? Lovely question. Stay tuned.

    LOL is this even a question? Raiden gets chance to shoot goons, im pretty sure they take it.

    December 19, 2011 at 1:13 pm Reply
    1. Frud

      we've been neighbors for 6 months now.. if thats not a chance to shoot goons I don't know what is.

      December 19, 2011 at 3:32 pm Reply
      1. raiden guy

        you all hide in your stations for 6 months is hardly a chance, the fact your coming out of your nerd hole, and getting out of ganking empire noobs on alts is impressive, i welcome the blobs, nice 5 fleets u pulled should be a fun couple months, as for taking anything… guess we just wait and see, you do have to show up tho to take stuff so GL with that.

        December 19, 2011 at 11:40 pm Reply
    2. Goon "Pet"

      If they do, then we go for thier space

      December 19, 2011 at 4:03 pm Reply
    3. Muhaha

      You got sick of Tenal a ?

      December 19, 2011 at 4:31 pm Reply
    4. lol @ raiden dude

      Yea … intervene and you will lose both Vale and Tenal :)) – You will loose them any way but slower if you stfu and suck hard 😉 Perhaps you will have a chance of finishing those supers you are cooking. Stay tuned 😉

      December 19, 2011 at 4:34 pm Reply
      1. Lube

        lol, i bet if you look at your own butthole you'll the tiny sign "GEWNS WERE THERE"

        December 20, 2011 at 12:04 am Reply
  9. wutwut

    Oh boy, if it's not Poetic Stanziel whining about highsec, it's minutiae about the various hijinks of Eve's favorite band of spergin' tards, the Goons. Thanks EN24!

    December 19, 2011 at 1:34 pm Reply
    1. Wiu Ming

      This isn't a frig gang battle report; this shit affects literally thousands – maybe tens of thousands – of players in every corner of the map. As things evolve, all kinds of corps and alliances will start making moves based on what their allies/adversaries are doing.

      Try taking your head out of the veldspar next time before deciding something is "minutiae."

      December 19, 2011 at 3:26 pm Reply
      1. wutwut

        Bwahahahaha, thousands? Maybe tens of thousands? Oh geez, only a spergin' Goon would assume that the goings-on of you turds are relevant to anyone but yourselves.

        December 19, 2011 at 9:45 pm Reply
        1. hihi

          HEy afterbirth. If goons to branch and WN calls for aid from Raiden., that moves TEST to vale, that makes PL maybe go there too, which leaves the field open to -a- to strike against RA, who wont get as much help from evoke as they started hitting romanian legion and vera cruz today.

          Its all connected or its just this weed im on. Either way you are a little failing hater that doesnt get the sandbox principle.

          December 19, 2011 at 11:02 pm Reply
        2. The Observer

          You seriously need to stop thinking that most of the action happens in high sec. Sure, there's a lot of players (pubbies?) in high sec, but what do you think sways market prices more? Surely not the carebear mission runners in their over tanked pieces of crap. Major, large scale conflicts affect almost everyone in eve. Stop being naive.

          December 20, 2011 at 4:21 am Reply
        3. Paraselene

          So how much ISK did we scam from you to make you so bitter?

          December 20, 2011 at 7:09 am Reply
  10. Goon "Pet"
    December 19, 2011 at 3:29 pm Reply
  11. nullsecnoob

    Whatever becomes of branch you have to admire the CFC filling up seven fleets and burning down most of branch in a short period of time. I don't think there is a cloning or repair service operational in Branch today. After WN gets over the shock I wonder what their response will be. FYI a little bird told me that RAIDEN. is coming to their aid, but i also heard that Vale of the Silent is under attack (or will be soon). Perhaps they will cal IRC?

    December 19, 2011 at 4:51 pm Reply
    1. IRC Grunt

      Currently as it stands now we will not be involved in this

      December 19, 2011 at 9:48 pm Reply
      1. other irc guy

        We will be deployed soon. HC can't make a decision on their own. We get told by others what we are going to do. If wn calls we will be on their doorstep in a heartbeat. The balls in wn's court.

        December 19, 2011 at 10:49 pm Reply
  12. -A-

    DRF are reforming – WN RA LOD NC. PL – there is alot of ahte towards Goons for what they have done despite their promises – War is coming to the Goons !!

    December 19, 2011 at 6:17 pm Reply
  13. droljica



    December 19, 2011 at 6:17 pm Reply
  14. Olol

    For all those on their knees with evokes cock in their mouths, I'd like to remind you what happened last time goons put in more than 10% effort in against them. Evoke we're kicked out of pb in about 10 days

    December 19, 2011 at 6:19 pm Reply
    1. Innocent Bystander

      Ah, you mean the time they left PB on their own accord without losing a single system or battle to Goons when Raiden, WN and PL weren't really interested anymore in clearing Deklein?

      History lesson: Before that, when Ev0ke was kicked out of Cloud Ring, it took 100% Goons plus, what, 80% of the rest of the NC and weeks of gutfights for the Krauts.

      December 19, 2011 at 8:48 pm Reply
  15. PB Resident

    .Who fuckin cares, dead is dead, does some1 need a tissue……….

    December 19, 2011 at 10:59 pm Reply
  16. the dude

    lalal pew pew lallaalal pew pew

    December 20, 2011 at 3:19 am Reply
  17. thedude2

    ALOT OF PEW PEW BABY ! ! ! STFU ! pew pew :X

    December 20, 2011 at 3:20 am Reply
  18. The Observer

    Hey Collective, are you still glad you left -A-?


    December 20, 2011 at 4:13 am Reply
  19. Early 2012

    Obituary of the goon

    December 20, 2011 at 8:21 am Reply

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