[spoiler show=”Editor’s Note”]Editor’s Note: After a thoughtful consideration, we have decided not to feature the full collection of pictures of Miss Eve-RU, we invite you to click the link and enjoy from their feminine beauty at the Eve-RU site.

I also asked Bagehi to write the most misogynistic and chauvinist article he could come up with, because let’s face it, all girls are beautiful and there is no need to make a beauty contest to prove it.

-[/spoiler]

Miss EVE-RU – Russian beauty contest pit Eve Nerds against their Impossibly High Feminine Standards.

EVE Online isn’t exactly the sort of game that draws a large crowd of women, neither does the “virile” qualities of its mostly albino-like players, so it is not surprising that setting aside that literal horde of “drag” characters, merely 5% of the EVE population is composed of women. Some of them are cute, another segment fall in the “Just OK” category and the rest could be filed under the “in dire need to be bundled with a large bottle of Everclear” section.

Anyhow, we all have heard that soothing voice which pops out in team-speak during a long night of sov grinding or deep within hours of being roaming around such as the hours passes by, the doubt whether that silky voice on comms is either a Rydis, a Mintchip or an Eva Jobse gets more noticeable, just as your blood alcohol concentration arises.

Worry no more, a couple of enterprising Russian players took matters into hands.

Only in Soviet Russia

In Soviet Russia, you don’t watch a beauty pageant contest, you make one. Russia has been known for many things. Vodka, hot women, hot brides for sale on the internet, the first person in space, awesome weapons of war, awesome weapons of war in an internet spaceship game, and now vodka inspired hot women for sale on an internet spaceship game… or something like that. Presenting the Eve RU Beauty Contest. Contestants can win a ton of internet spaceship money (90b isk) to be RMT’ed into Italian shoes, maybe a nice purse or that washboard these “Femme Fatale” so badly want. 50b of the prize money comes from the overlord, UAxDeath, himself.

We sent a scout to their god forsaken forums to check out the claims that there were beautiful Russian women playing Eve. After checking out the contestants page, this myth has proved to be a reality. Of course, the information is all in Russian and as James Bond as it would be to speak it… I don’t. However, many thanks to google translate, we now know where the hotties of Eve have been hiding. Considering the moral ambiguity of Eve players though, can you blame them?

[spoiler show=”Show Pix Spoiler”]
[/spoiler]
So, you’ve been looking for the special someone to get in the kitchen and make you a sammich? Cue the slow motion, bouncing boob, model walking down the runway. Forget that, these ladies will take care of house chores both in real life and the asteroid belts, play video games with you and aren’t bad on the eyes either (with or without vodka). Well worth their weight in moon-gold and already skilled up with Housekeeping V.

What are you waiting for! Polish up your Russian and get voting!

– Bagehi

VOTE NOW – Eve-Ru Thread

[spoiler show=”Did we mess up?”]
We want to give you guys the best possible intel, to post as fast as we can confirm it, but Eve being :Eve: is quite confusing. If we messed up with our intel, please contact us directly [email protected], provide the proof of it and we’ll correct it immediately noting the change and bringing the correction on top of the article list.[/spoiler]

If you would like to send intel or contribute, feel free to use the form below:

[spoiler show=”Submit Intel Here”]

[/spoiler]

64 Comments

  1. Ripperljohn

    :brilliant:

    September 12, 2011 at 6:56 am Reply
  2. Lord's Servant

    holy shit enough eve nerd porn to last at least til next month….. 0.o

    The thing that intrigues me the most is can any of them actually pvp WELL….IE a female russian garmon(jizzed in mah pants just now).

    This is p awesome :)

    -Lords

    September 12, 2011 at 7:00 am Reply
    1. Ostap Bender

      Some of them are pro pvpers, check their KB 😀

      September 12, 2011 at 4:28 pm Reply
      1. bagehi

        That is hot.

        September 12, 2011 at 6:21 pm Reply
    2. Drone_Russian

      We even have a girl who teaches newbies do pvp at the our corporation's academy. Space nerds fall into shock when they hear a sexy voice in the TS and follows FC's commands in full obedience.

      September 13, 2011 at 4:30 pm Reply
  3. ilikepie

    this has got to be the best news ive seen in a long time in Eve….

    September 12, 2011 at 7:04 am Reply
  4. Howaboutit

    Funny they don't look like SC blobing, slumlord, RMTers.

    September 12, 2011 at 7:05 am Reply
    1. coon

      well 200 tengu bots running 23/7 can buy you some good Russian actors.

      September 12, 2011 at 9:19 am Reply
      1. Buggrit

        No, those are the ones running the contest.

        September 12, 2011 at 10:01 am Reply
  5. One Sided

    I guess my standards are too high for this. The one with the dreadlocks caught my eye but thats about it.

    September 12, 2011 at 7:07 am Reply
    1. Buggrit

      Guess even Brad Pitt wouldn't mind rooting through your trashcan, he'd find stuff there better than Angelina.

      You da man.

      September 12, 2011 at 10:04 am Reply
    2. Partsking

      Sharp knees, right?

      I hear ya.

      September 13, 2011 at 10:56 am Reply
  6. who

    Oh Shit

    Phase 1 of the DRF campaign has begun. Dont be distracted by the beautiful russians,

    Keep those lasers on target

    September 12, 2011 at 7:25 am Reply
  7. curious

    Can you rent one of those russian girls, and live in their basement, playing video games?

    Maybe I should just rent a russian mom I suppose.

    September 12, 2011 at 7:29 am Reply
  8. D_3

    Those broads can make me a sammich…err I mean Pirozhki any time. D3

    September 12, 2011 at 7:35 am Reply
  9. jenson

    2 or 3 looked nice but think we should do an eve wide comp not just Russians,
    imagine a miss alliance competition and then they go on to Miss EVE Universe to find the ultimate winner lol

    September 12, 2011 at 7:46 am Reply
    1. sour_

      get a life dude xD

      September 12, 2011 at 9:37 am Reply
      1. jenson

        get a sense of humor dude xD

        September 12, 2011 at 11:27 pm Reply
  10. niko

    i'm rather dissapointed. 35 russian women and 2 were like pretty…
    none was hot!? i mean come on…

    September 12, 2011 at 7:51 am Reply
  11. zorg36

    #11, 13, 21, 22
    that is all

    September 12, 2011 at 8:01 am Reply
  12. Bobmon

    some of those girls are Ungly as hell

    September 12, 2011 at 8:06 am Reply
  13. spawny

    i'm torn between the one with a sniper rifle or the one tied up in tape…. yum freakin yum….

    September 12, 2011 at 8:42 am Reply
    1. Buggrit

      Airgun. And yes, both are totally not cool.

      September 12, 2011 at 10:03 am Reply
  14. Shattershark

    Афтар, выпей йаду.

    Seriously, if you really need to come up with that much text then at least try not to repeat the same retarded joke over and over again. Better yet – cut the crap and just post the link to boobies.

    September 12, 2011 at 8:46 am Reply
    1. Internets Tough Guy is Internets… :rollseyes:

      September 12, 2011 at 2:36 pm Reply
      1. fox

        u no like boobies? next time link to boobies and clam up lol

        September 12, 2011 at 4:23 pm Reply
      2. Shattershark

        "Yet another beauty contest was announced at EVE-RU.com's forum on August 25th. Several contests were conducted by enthusiasts in previous years, but didn't see a lot of publicity and success. This time organizers came up with significant prize and decided to put an effort into verifying contestant's identity (read "try to find out if it's not a money-grubbing guy with an extensive photo collection"). Interesting thing to note is that not only time list of judges includes prominent players, but some of them (or alliances/corporations they lead/represent) are contributors to the prize fund" <insert link here>

        Taking things from memory since I can't be bothered to check it on forums, plus I don't have time for writing this properly. Yet I think I've managed to put more meaningful info into a single paragraph.

        September 12, 2011 at 7:11 pm Reply
  15. HEY

    lets do a MR eve beerbelly competition. No doubt goonswarm takes that prize.

    September 12, 2011 at 9:15 am Reply
  16. r3voo ( MM )

    my vote goes to 21 :)

    September 12, 2011 at 9:17 am Reply
  17. sour_

    my goodness…one girl thought its a nice concept to photo herself ontop of a…armor, then another girl witha a snipping rifle…wtf??! what have they been telling (and doing) to those poor kids?? xD

    September 12, 2011 at 9:36 am Reply
    1. Buggrit

      Its fitting. She does sov warfare, she's on a Sov (iet) tank.

      The other one is an airgun, it shoots pellets. Target practice or whatever. Maybe she likes snipe muninns.

      September 12, 2011 at 10:00 am Reply
    2. Oh Snap

      Yeah, for a second, I thought they were american chicks!

      September 12, 2011 at 6:36 pm Reply
  18. JIeoH Mocc

    This contest is sold out from start to end. Despite the "public" voting and endless buckets of fecal matter on the forum, the "Grand Jury" consists of the prize donators themselves, hence – the contest is a farce.
    It's wrongly called a beauty contest, it has no rules and no ethics. Life is tough.
    Contact in game for more info, if you wish – JIeoH Mocc.
    Cheers.

    September 12, 2011 at 9:37 am Reply
    1. yup im right

      u gay? the contest its about looks..thats all. problem? My GF and her bitchy friends spend alot of time on hot or not and similar sites. you should hear them and what they say about men and how they judge..not just them..most women. You never hear Broads talk to themselves about being sexist or preaching at each other like some love sick guys like u do lol. wake up pal and man up

      September 12, 2011 at 4:20 pm Reply
  19. JIeoH Mocc

    This contest is sold out from start to end. Despite the "public" voting and endless buckets of fecal matter on the forum, the "Grand Jury" consists of the prize donators themselves, hence – the contest is a farce.

    September 12, 2011 at 9:46 am Reply
  20. Mordd

    This article could not be more sexist if it tried, grats R you've sunk to a new low.

    September 12, 2011 at 9:57 am Reply
    1. George

      Women are a fuck of a lot more sexist then men buddy, time for u to man up! Even if it is sexist..who cares! Men need to get the balls back.

      September 12, 2011 at 4:02 pm Reply
      1. Buggrit

        Sexist is ok.

        Exotic-looking girls are even more ok.

        September 12, 2011 at 5:58 pm Reply
      2. Mordd

        As soon as they announce the Mr EVE Russia i'll believe you.

        September 12, 2011 at 6:05 pm Reply
        1. hamstrung

          We need more sexism back in the Western world..it's good for everyone and society. and btw no one is stopping chicks from doing a mr universe contest other than lazyness..some chick will get her boyfriend to do it u watch..or some queer that likes pretending to be a chick will lol

          September 12, 2011 at 10:52 pm Reply
  21. Buggrit

    These look like real women, and the DRF officially wins EVE. Period.

    Until the other alliances get their shit together and place their own Ubercap fleet on the field, its over baby.

    September 12, 2011 at 9:58 am Reply
  22. Ur235

    Pretty sure the redhead at the top is gonna win works for me anyway

    September 12, 2011 at 10:43 am Reply
  23. russia nerds

    Damn, some ugly bitches, no wonder Russian men spend more time drunk on a game than pleasing their woman and living their life, its a miracle you maintained a stable population in Russia with such ugly bitches, but i guess with a pillow or two on the head and with the help of Vodka it can work

    September 12, 2011 at 11:39 am Reply
    1. SW GRUNT

      "russia nerds "guys U MUST BE GAY MEN

      September 12, 2011 at 12:01 pm Reply
      1. russia nerds

        Why ? are you Homophobe ? you know that homophobes are closet homos too afraid to admit it ?

        September 12, 2011 at 1:11 pm Reply
        1. girly man

          Maybe he like you know..attractive women? sry u cant get one lol

          September 12, 2011 at 4:15 pm Reply
    2. ...

      is it sad to be gay?

      September 12, 2011 at 12:49 pm Reply
      1. Sam

        Can't get a nice looking woman hu? That's ok ugly people need love as well. You go and settle for second best..it's ok

        September 12, 2011 at 4:04 pm Reply
  24. Reginvalt

    Seems like jokes about russian brides, vodka, matryoshka and balalaika is a kind of sign of high western culture 😐
    Disliked the article.

    Just watch the photos, guys.

    September 12, 2011 at 12:10 pm Reply
  25. Gunny

    So…….this is what russian female botters look like, Quick Yuri! take Sov photo!

    September 12, 2011 at 12:27 pm Reply
  26. H3llfire

    In Soviet Russia, there are only ugly Bots

    September 12, 2011 at 1:16 pm Reply
  27. H3llfire

    in Soviet Russia, all "girls" look like ladyboys

    September 12, 2011 at 1:46 pm Reply
  28. russia nerds
    September 12, 2011 at 2:06 pm Reply
  29. a;ex

    13 and 10 they are nice

    September 12, 2011 at 3:09 pm Reply
  30. Brad

    These Dames are average at best. But if they can cook, clean, work and pull their own weight that is what counts. Not like these lazy bitches in North America! 50/50 you fat lazy hos! Man up boys ans stop treating women like babies

    September 12, 2011 at 3:53 pm Reply
  31. RDN guy

    the first one has some crazy eyes. Very hot

    September 12, 2011 at 5:34 pm Reply
  32. Inbrainsane

    21 or 26

    September 12, 2011 at 8:57 pm Reply
  33. Justyce

    Fake…fucking fake. How do I know? One of those women claims to be a part of Goonswarm. Everyone knows that Goons are nothing but a bunch of pasty white, hairy-knuckled nerds with Cheetos stains in their underwear…

    Now that Lady Fee…she is hot.

    September 13, 2011 at 6:51 am Reply
  34. Abbadon Karis

    Nr 21 looks like a nice Minmatar women.

    September 13, 2011 at 12:05 pm Reply
  35. Bucka

    "I ask the jury to send me a photo and address ICQ Skype girls who took the first 3 places.
    again again moscow river alcohol. tequila her mother."

    :D:D

    September 14, 2011 at 12:09 pm Reply
  36. Ben the Lover

    lol if girl plays mmorpg its diagnose. pretty girls havent time for this online shit, they busy with theirs men. thats why so little nice girls on the photos.

    September 20, 2011 at 3:06 pm Reply
  37. alpha

    Who won this contest?

    October 2, 2011 at 10:49 pm Reply
  38. EVE Girl Watch

    forget Rydis. word is TALON SCORPIO :
    girl has the hottest voice in EVE and rumour says a face to match.

    October 16, 2011 at 10:06 pm Reply
    1. Veronica

      Miss USSR 2012 contest at http://www.missussr.com is better than this contest as they are offering exciting cash prizes to winners.

      August 5, 2012 at 8:06 am Reply

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